Home: About Us

Hi.

I’m Jeffery, a childhood abuse survivor and disabled Marine with DID living in the Deep South.  I was born to a military family devoid of any form of physical love and affection.  I was trained be a “child warrior” during the Cold War in Europe.  Beatings were common.  I am from everywhere and nowhere, having been yanked from one environment to another for the first fourteen years of our life.  Like I tell folks: I’m from everywhere and nowhere, and home is where I can park my stuff.

Facts:

I was born to Army parents in a small German hospital overseas where I disappeared for awhile.  Neither the hospital nor my parents could find me, then I reappeared awhile later.  No one knew where I had been.  Neither do I.
I have two birth certificates: one from the hospital, one from the American consulate.  They say I was born in different years.  I was born 9-11, during the Cold War, in ’59.
I’ve got over 12 years of post-high school education.  “We” are a compulsive learner.
The best thing I ever learned was teaching myself how to learn.
By the time I was 17 I had read every science fiction novel that I could find, and most of the short ones.  That was in ’77 – I couldn’t find one I hadn’t read, not in any library.  So I gave it up and started reading other stuff instead.
I’ve been a carpenter and an engineer, certified mechanic (gas, diesel, 4 stroke or 2 cycle) from 2 wheels to 24.  I can rebuild most anything.
I studied Engineering Design while putting myself through college.  Out of 90 students only I and one girl graduated.  I taught the class for awhile – the Mechanical Engineering part of it.
I learn things by reading and/or doing them.  I remember everything I’ve read – most of the technical and engineering stuff.  I’m a “facts” trivia man, specializing in . . . anything.
Don’t ask me about someone famous.  I’m not your man.  While able to remember facts about paramecium and the far side of the moon (it smells like gunpowder, by the way – just another fact I know) – I’m lousy at remembering names.  I’m not the kind of person that makes famous people famous.
I learned to shoot the mini-gun on a Huey Cobra using the Heads Up Display (HUD) by the time I was 13.
I was setting punji stake traps when I was ten.
I was voted “most honest man” when I worked as an engineer for a pharmaceutical firm.  I designed factories for them.
I had a three month long party one time.
I was kidnapped by a guy who thought I was a kid in the MKULTRA program.  Fact is, I was part of a program, but not the one he (and I thought) at the time.  It was another program, kinder, more mild.
There’s a lot more, but I’m bored.

What Other People Say:
“You’ve lived an interesting life!  You should write a book about it.”  Fact is, I did in some ways.  But only about a part of it.
“You give love so unconditionally.  You’re unlike any man I know, dad,” my daughter said to me sadly, almost gently one time.
I am brutally honest.  “Cruelly so,” has been the words I’ve heard in my (our) past.

“You’re the smartest person I know.”  I’ve heard this one more times than I care to.  It doesn’t matter.  Facts don’t make knowledge; knowledge doesn’t give wisdom.  And I’ve met much smarter people than I in all walks of life . . .

I’ve been a janitor at a cotton mill.  I’m a survivalist.  I own guns, but am extremely paranoid about them.  It keeps me safe, as well as others.

I – or ‘we’ (my alter selves) wrote a book called “The Boy” which we started when ‘I’ was seventeen.  It took 34 years and is the product of several ‘alters’ (something I didn’t realize until 2011).   It’s the story of an abused child, an abused and sexually groomed child, a beaten child.  It will lead you down the journey of my child, the inner one, and you will come to understand HOW and WHY a child might beg for his abuser to abuse him; have sex with him – as well as an indepth understanding of a sexual abuser and sadistic monster.  It will put you inside their heads and their hearts – I know, since their heads and hearts are inside of mine.  It will give you a glimpse of DID.  Everyone who has read it says: it’s a really good book.  There’s lots of symbolizism, double and triple meanings as well – another result of my DID system and ‘alters’ inside me.  Don’t take my word for it – take  of other reviewers.  It’s a really good read – either as an adventure/crime story or a deeper, more symbolic book, and one which child sexual abuse survivors will identify with.

We have three blogs – one for “Mikie’s Stories”, which is “The Little Shop of Horrors” (kinda tells you something about our pasts, doesn’t it?); Matthew’s journals, or “The Lost Journals“, which is done my my more contemporary “Teen” alter and Marine, plus a few more . . . includes some artwork and lots of poetry – and this one, current events, comments and so . . .

Anyway – have fun, check out the book we wrote – ALL proceeds benefit abused children – be good to yourself (or selves).

“To understand is to feel compassion; to feel compassion – love.  And with love and compassion comes forgiveness . . .”

Learn to understand; tolerate that which you do not – and remember the Golden Rule: “Do No Harm” – and if you must make a choice, choose that which harms the least . . .

Live. Love. Laugh.  And pursue Happiness as best you can – while harming no one else – and realize:

It’s in YOU . . . if only you can find it within yourself.

’nuff said.

~Jeff and Friends

49 Responses to Home: About Us

  1. Noel says:

    Jeffrey, your blog reminds me of a famous book I recently read, titled “A Child Called ‘IT'” by Dave Pelzer. Child abuse is a terrible thing. I hope you continue to recover from it. I endured some emotionally abuse when I grew up also, but I don’t consider it severe, so I don’t know really what it’s like. Looking forward to continue to read more from your experience. Take care.

    • jeffssong says:

      Thank you, Noel. We had read “A Child Called IT” many years ago, oddly it did not connect. (We were in our early 20’s before beginning to suspect we’d been abused.) Weird I know. He has written another book “A Man Called Dave” and his brother also put out a book. It is very hard to admit that yeah these things happened. Social stigma is a b***; so much shame, yeah. Shrinky-doos say ‘its not your fault’ but we have great difficulty with it. Just typing about this now is … weird feelings what I guess folks call ‘anxiety’ but anxiety is a mixed bag of emotion. We’ll have to blog on it, eh? Thanks again.

      • Grace says:

        Hi Jeff, Thanks for your comment on my blog post. Glad you have a blog to share your journey. Sharing is telling and that is healing.

    • NoFear InLove says:

      There’s also a story by Robbie Garner, called “Nobody Came.”

  2. Hi Jeffrey,
    I read your comment that you posted today on Darlene Ouimet’s “Emerging From Broken” blog, and I posted a long reply on there, to you. Then I clicked over here to your blog. and read this post. I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog.

    My dad was diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder when I was 12, this was in 1965. My dad told me a few years before he died, that his MPD stemmed from his mother sexually abusing him when he was a very little boy. I believe that did happen. His mother, my paternal grandmother, was sexually abusive to me on one occasion, when I was 24 years old! Even at that “grown-up” age, I was too shocked and horrified to do or say ANYTHING… I just stood there like a stone statue and let that evil woman touch me! I felt like I was having one of those nightmares where you can’t move or scream or RUN.

    God…

    Anyway, I am now almost-58, but I’m still very much a young girl inside. Eight years ago I was diagnosed with Complex-Post Traumatic Stress, and that is a diagnosis that fits. To my mind, having C-PTSD, or DID, is a NORMAL response to going though horribly abnormal abuse… just as bleeding is a perfectly normal response to being stabbed.

    When I was 14, I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, and locked in an insane asylum. This was in 1967, when PTSD of any kind was unknown. In those less-enlightened days, you were either sane, or you were crazy, and, if you were crazy, the answer was to lock you up in a hellhole and throw away the key.

    My life was abuse upon abuse upon abuse… until I FINALLY got some GOOD therapy 8 years ago, just before I turned 50, and I began to break that pattern of abuse in my life.

    I believe… well, I KNOW… that I, too, had DID. It was a feature of my Complex-PTSD, which is often the case, in those of us who have gone through years of abuse, particularly when it begins at a very early age.

    I am now fully integrated, and have been for several years. It was as I began to heal from my early traumas, and as I learned the TRUTH about myself, the truth that I was NOT born broken or crazy, I was not weak, nor “less than” anyone else on this planet… in learning the truth that I have equal value to every other human being, simply because I exist… and in coming to understand that having equal value also means that I have equal rights… as I learned these universal truths about my inherent worth, my brokenness, my undiagnosed DID, began to heal all on its own.

    Being severely abused from toddlerhood on up, BROKE me. Then, because I was so obviously broken, I was stigmatized with all sorts of “crazy” labels, I was put down, treated as less than… in essence, I was further abused, and further broken, as “punishment” for having been broken when I was a defenseless child.

    Users and abusers seek out the people who are already broken. So, when I left my abusive childhood home, and went out into the world of adult relationships, I was used and abused again and again. It was my “normal.” It was all that I had been taught I was worth. I was “broken” and I believed that meant I was “crazy,” so therefore, I believed that I didn’t deserve any better than to be further abused……

    Now I know that belief system I was taught from the cradle on, was WRONG. No more will I allow myself to be abused in any way, shape, or form. I would rather live in a cardboard box under a bridge all by myself, than to live in the grandest mansion with another person who treats me as LESS THAN.

    I’m glad you found Darlene Ouimet’s EFB blog, her amazing blog is the best mental health healing community anywhere! EFB is the best place I have found, for the healing of our broken minds and broken hearts and broken souls.

    I admire your positive spirit, Jeffrey.

    Lynda

    • jeffssong says:

      You’ve got an amazing story and spirit, Lynda! We went to your site; beautiful stuff – you are one tough girl with a crazy heart – your husband is a lucky man. I was glad to see you got your story out; that’s a wonderful thing. We’ve wrote a book; just stuck it on Kindle (sigh). You know how that goes. But its like “go, girl!” (getting behind ya cheering!). You rock! LOL, an’ old poot like me cheering; the wonders of having all those little chips of me rattling around inside :) You take care, stay in touch; we will try to too, o’tay? (Buckwheat smile, aka Little Rascals). Until later!

    • Noel says:

      Lynda , WOW! thank you for sharing so much about your past. I am so glad you have survived. I work with people with severe mental illness. This is really intriguing. Take care!

  3. Jeffrey, you are a survivor. So am I. So is Lynda. That says a lot about all 3 of us. Many others didn’t survive. Something in us was strong and held on through the abuse of incest. That takes courage. Thanks for sharing your story.

  4. Hey Jeff, good to find your blog… I saw your posts on Darlene’s blog, and followed them here as Lynda did. I also speaketh DID, and other than a few side trips from the ferris wheel, we do okay for the most part. “Integration” (a term coined by the psych community) is a fallacy as far as we’re concerned. Communication and cooperation = our goal – especially at this late stage of the body age…

    Would love to see your artsy-type stuff.

    All best to you,
    Susa/all

    • I too am finding integration to be far less then the perfectly normal singleton life I thought we would have. I again and again have though why the heck am I back here! I am supposed to be “HEALED”. I have come to the realization that the best answer is that cooperation that your speaking of.

      I really feel like I lost something for a long time by not working harder to embrace the wonderful and make it work for me. At this point it’s really not all that bad having more then one of us. It was hell when I didn’t understand what was going on, but now it’s just my life… not scary and not fixable…it is what it is.

      • jeffssong says:

        Funny; I’ve had some people email me, panicked: “I’ve just been diagnoses DID! What do I DO!”

        “Nothing, hon,” I say. “It doesn’t change anything. ‘You’ are still the same old you. They just gave you a label. It doesn’t change a thing.” Because it doesn’t. ‘You’ or some part of you has been living ‘with it’ all your life.

        I just see it as being different. “We” think different than a monomind. “A different *way* of thinking is all,” is how I explain to a singleton (or try. Gotta keep it simple. It’s a complicated subject.).

        We found ‘rejecting’, not allowing ‘selves’ to emerge, ‘be’ themselves; “burying” our inner child – all THAT did not work. Got the scars on my arm to show it. Drugs did not work. Made a mess of ‘myself’.

        Happiness came when we opened up and began embracing ‘ourselves’ as fellow human beings – children, adults, et all. (even ghosts, LOL). Welcoming all – seeking them out! – and not letting ‘them’ push ‘us’ (or Jeffery, our mediating soul) away – just pouring on the love. Love came from understanding WHY they were the way they were, did the things they did. (Each time it boils down to one thing for each one: they were seeking happiness. Every time. Each in his/her own way.) And of course with all that came forgiveness and the shame/guilt just went away. (Of course there are still remnants and sometimes questionable feelings from some of our clan.)

        So . . . “we’ve” take the roles and form more of a family – the ‘dads’, the ‘moms’, the children. Any family has some difficulties. Our wife enjoys the ‘children’, but ‘we’ don’t regress to infant. “They” come out as playful affectionate beings – somewhat ‘clingy’ and given to kisses. She likes that.

        I hate hearing you are ‘stuck’ or ‘hurting’ with this thing right now. It sounds like a decision. What to do; which path to take. I can’t answer that to you.

        “I really feel like I lost something for a long time by not working harder to embrace the wonderful and make it work for me.” you said. I think perhaps you needed that time to realize that, so it was not lost at all. Just doing something different. We’ve all tried many routes. You have to know and you can’t know till you tried. Then you see the difference. See if it works – better or worse, like the optometrist says.

        I am really hoping you can figure out what is best and what is going to work best. I know what we do and did; our past and history. I know how this is working out – wild and crazy, for sure – but ‘we’ feel ‘whole’ – in that now there are ‘all ourselves’ (or as many as we have come out) – and our spouse says we are more fun, spontaneous, and seem much happier – and reflecting – I think it’s true. “We” all feel “more better” about ourselves and more.

  5. Jeff,
    You survived….. I am glad you did and my hat goes off to you for speaking out about you abuse, so that other will have a chance to overcome, survive and have hope in their lives..
    xoxo
    Jessica

    http://www.findingonesway.com

  6. ravensdragonfly says:

    Just wow. I am only just begining to talk. I had no idea that other survivors had a lot of the same feelings and issues as me. I thought I was just messed up in the head. I hope you do not mind if I continue reading your thoughts – I don’t want to invade your privacy but your words kinda mean something to me. I don’t know what yet but suffice it to say that I get a lot of aha moments while reading.
    here is my journal –

    http://t.co/YQNaFVc

    I just started to write. I wasn’t planning on keeping the journal going – just long enough to get this crap out of my head.

  7. Kat & Co says:

    *hats raised to ya*

  8. vps says:

    I was examining some of your blog posts on this website and I conceive this site is real informative ! Keep putting up.

  9. Gracias says:

    You are my inspiration. You have overcome so much! But beware the MK. They are alive and well. You have narrowly escaped them. We all thank you for what you did. The man who hurt you in Puerto Rico is suffering fine. the plane ride was real.

    sleepers.
    UR1
    thank you

  10. free says:

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  11. Witmer99627 says:

    You can definitely see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.

  12. axonPeno says:

    Compliments on jeffssong.wordpress.com

  13. You can definitely see your skills in the paintings you write. The arena hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to say how they believe. At all times go after your heart.

  14. As a fellow abuse victim/survivor…however one wants to look at it..I commend all of you on the writings. It means a great to me. Best of luck, keep up the wonderful work. :)

  15. Hi Jeff,

    I too am a survivor from years of physical and sexual abuse. I could relate to so much of your writings and I wanted to let you know how much it touched my heart.

    I’ve been facing the fears of my inner demons as I unbury the past through writings. Your posts inspire me to continue on through the painful work of writing my story. Thank you for sharing and inspiring others with your words.

    Blessings, Joan

  16. The Hobbler says:

    So glad you…or at least a few of you ;) came by my blog. I am looking forward to reading more of yours.

  17. Vijay says:

    Dear Jeffssong,
    Thank you very much for regularly visiting my blog and posting motivating comments. I always longed for somebody who could guide me, your regular comments on my blog reflects your intense nature and i thank you once again for being my guide.

    Vijay Joshi

    • jeffssong says:

      :) Actually it is you who help me, Vijay: you give me a more even perspective about life on this world, and your insights are – well, insightful! I have not forgotten nor will I forget some of the stories you have told, such as the wife and her now dead husband; their trials and tribulations. And I most appreciate the insight and appreciation you give me for your own culture, religions, and life there on the other side of the world …
      It just goes to show we share the same universe, joys and sorrows – each and everyone, all over the world, and that your tales and mine are – at least in the universal mind – somewhat intertwined. :D Good day, and I look forward to seeing more of your good writing.

  18. The Hobbler says:

    Does your wife like to write? I was thinking it might be nice to hear some of her perspective on what it is like for her, loving and living with all of you. Just a thought.

    • jeffssong says:

      :) I’ve been trying to get her to write, but she claims she’s “not a writer”. We’ll see. I’ve been telling her it’s not about style; it’s about her feelings and content. Hopefully I’ll get her writing some on her views and perspectives with the idea of me posting them here on my blog. She’s not into the social media stuff, either, which makes it kinda hard. But there again – we’ll see!

  19. jennygoth says:

    cant imagine the hurt and sorrow but a strong person has emerged xxjen

  20. charl1010 says:

    Nice work I am glad someone do believe what I did say, I am not lying and I am not crazy but them people did call me crazy and they threatened to put me in an oddy home for bad bitches and put me in a mental institution and I didn’t do nothing to warrent that at all. I AM NOT SURE IF THESE PEOPLE ARE MY RELATIVES THEY DON’T ACT LIKE THEY ARE MY RELATIVES AT ALL, INSTEAD THEY ALL TREAT LIKE AN OUTCAST AND AN OUTSIDER, AND THEY TREAT MY KIDS LIKE AN OUTCAST AND AN OUTSIDER TOO. AND THEY DON’T HAVE NO KIND OF MERCY ON US AT ALL, NO THEY DON’T and keep up the good workl.

  21. Mustang.Koji says:

    Your writing talent is fabulous!

  22. Amazing is all I can say well and fascinating, I often wondered if my mom… well you know she had a dark side. Well she had so many sides, that is what makes me wonder.

  23. seapunk2 says:

    There are lots of us who have been damaged or changed from what we could have been or turned out to be, because of our background, as evidenced by the responses you’ve received.
    I started my “memoirs” here and found myself so deeply hurt by what I was writing, I still have not been able to continue (though I will) and am writing in the third person about my childhood memories.
    I plan to publish, too, but have held back, waiting for my mother to die. Is that bad? Even through all the damage she did, I, personally, don’t want to hurt anyone. What do you think?
    Here’s an example, if anyone cares to read-

    http://wp.me/p2mVj1-dt

    • jeffssong says:

      I think that however / whatever you do to help yourself is “Okay” – and that yes, it is wise not to hurt others – even if they have hurt you in the past.

      If writing 3rd person distances yourself enough, or helps you put in the descriptions (because I know 3rd person does better for me on the descriptive end) – then by all means, do it. It is not the writing so much as the analytical / theraputic look and effect.

      I understand not wanting to “tell at home”. We still have not told our parents / friends / brother about our book that we published and put on Amazon – how crazy is that? These should be the persons supporting me in my effort – and yet I will not tell them I wrote it because of the Author’s blurb at the end. My parents would be hurt by me saying I was DID and a child abuse survivor – though they admit that they were barbaric and cruel, they don’t want the world to know it. (sigh)

      I took a look and it looked good – like a start. And that’s where you start: anywhere you can. A little bit while you can; easing off when it gets too hard. And that’s okay/good, too.

  24. athenivandx says:

    Semper Fi and thanks for your service. We came to your blog from another multiple system’s blog. We will probably have more to say later on.

    Ivan

  25. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    I am utterly grounded by what you have lived. I don’t know what normal IQ is, but I’m suspecting 180 is good.

    To all of you in there, those “too many minds on hand”… fuck, I just, I am so gutted. Kudos to you, for standing up in life and saying something.

    • jeffssong says:

      (wry smile). I’ve been known as a bruntly honest man – voted the most honest out of 240 employees, I’m known for speaking my mind – and cutting to the chase. Part of it is this “MPD” (multiple mind) – I can’t always control what who is going to say – and several will lay it out like it is, somewhat crudely sometimes. :(

      I just hope that someone somewhere finds some inspiration; perhaps some hints in life – or perhaps comfort in knowing that even if you’ve lost your mind – it’s gonna be alright. It always is in the end, if you wait a long enough time – and work on it.

      Thanks for the kudos. Personally I don’t think I deserve ‘em – other survivors do. As for me? Just muddling along hoping for the best – and writing some odd words, LOL.

      • WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

        aaaaHA! I note you said ‘wait long enough – and work on it’. I beg to know, only if you don’t mind telling, what have you done by way of counselling? I myself have avoided counsellors for all of my life, until I genuinely and earnestly attempted suicide last year – and was thrown into them. Yet, as I am also a robot and can smile at my workplace and do what I’m hired to do, I have been let off their guard as – ha, ha, let’s call lit ‘normal’ again.

        My sister has been “seeing someone” (professional) for 2 decades or something, & I think she’s sort of addicted to it. Perhaps not so. She has an actual real and steady relationship now, & has purchased a home. She’s never had children or anything, but – that’s all pretty normal, eh? I’m single as,
        was,
        will be? !

        Thank you for your openness. I DARE to say, I just may have finally met someone as open in issues as myself, for once. Truly – it’s so hard to find people who talk as-is.

        Thank you – pleasure :)

      • jeffssong says:

        The 1st thing is realizing there’s some problems with “you” – for that is the first step towards ‘healing’ yourself somewhat. 2nd is figuring out what went wrong and how it has affected you. The 3rd – and the hardest – is changing what you know is wrong into something ‘right’ – your thoughts, your being, your *perceptions* – and realizing: this thing is going to stick with you all of your life/lives. That sometimes you will need to halt, think things over – not give into that ‘gut instinct’ or surge of emotion. It’s really hard to do – sometimes. A cool and rational head is in order. Sometimes we don’t get things right; mistakes happen. Learning to forgive yourself somewhat for them. Saying: ‘oops, I F’d up again, I promise I’ll try to do even better – next time’ – helps. Forgiving one’s self for being human is apparently a very hard thing for a human being to do (and yet we are surprisingly forgiving of others – most people are! – I’ve found).

        Professional help. *They* can’t do it for you, no more than I can. That ‘help’ – *healing* – can only be done by YOU – no others. All they can do is give you signposts along the way – point out ways to ‘think’ and perceive events in and around your lives.

        I didn’t realize I need help until I went online and asked one day “Is it normal to want to kill yourself on a daily basis?”. The answer that came back was a resounding “NO!”. I was about 29, 30 or so? Maybe a bit older. I saw the shrinks and psychoanalysts – and ran into a wall: myself. Or ‘selves’, I’m thinking (with a wry smile). My teenager ‘self’ (a Defender) was a big obstical and ‘I’ got nowhere. So I “did it” alone – for the most part. I had to. There was no where to get some help for me aside from my ‘own’ – using my own DID system (Which was sturdily built, it seems) – study and my own knowledge, exploring my own ‘system’ – why what makes me feel what I do – and then changing those things as best I can.

        Happiness is in large part a matter of your own perceptions which determine how we feel about things. Change those perceptions and you can change those thoughts – that’s what “I” did and still do (or try) when “I” am getting upset. Not a perfect system – there’s still a lot of “false records” or thoughts which affect how well I do – but I’m still learning from them. Life is an adventure, after all – and who said an adventure has to be ‘fun’? It can be interesting – that’s life, after all! – and the work is never done. But we’re getting there, slowly but surely, a bit at a time. But like I said: the first step is recognizing the problem: the 2nd, changing your mind. :)

      • WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

        You speak wisdoms that I recognise and have only just these last years begun to reflect on.

        I was self-destructive for years, in inability to forgive myself what befell my son “on my watch”. I ceased ‘partying’, I gave my whole days, “career potential”, income, life over to my son’s raising, and met such opposition of aim by none other than the father, I imploded. In short, I could not forgive myself.

        I only lately did. You are “streets ahead”, and I value your words.

      • jeffssong says:

        “Water under the bridge” or over the dam: the past cannot be changed, but the future? It can be, to some degree, in your own hands.

        You can’t control the behavior of other human beings. Life and circumstance oft times conspire against us. Why should we hold what we did in the past against us, instead of recognizing them as growing and learning experiences we’ve had? Truth be told, some of them have been in shame and dark experiences – it always holds true: everyone has their own dark little secrets. The question is: how do they affect *you*? and even more importantly, how do they affect your behavior and actions towards people and the world around you?

        I often have to resolve to “do better” and correct myself. Sometimes I find myself down a wrong path. I, too, am learning: forgive thyself and your past goes down a lot easier. A lot easier said than done, though.

        We – people – often expect others to see/think/react/feel as we do. Truth is, you *never* know what someone else is truly thinking, feeling, or believing. We “project” our feelings upon someone else – animals, too (See the movie “Life of Pi” for an example of that one.) You can forgive others for NOT forgiving you, if that’s the case – and sometimes that needs to be done. Just to move on a bit.

        Remember: it’s free choice to better yourself, “be your best” – LOL’ing, I don’t know how many times in a day I must “step back” in my head and don’t let my heart or coarser selves get in the way of what is “right”. It often can be hard – but that’s okay, because when I do so, I know I’m making myself a better man. Somewhat (wry grin).

        I’m glad to hear you are in the process of self-examination and discovery. It is a voyage more people should go on – and extended one. So often so many people have no clue as to why they are doing what they are doing – they just go by “gut feel” – and for so many, that feeling may be wrong. Violence, hurtful words, outrage, anger – so much to be solved. But we can start if we start solving it in ourselves.

        I would say “god bless” on your journey, but don’t know how you feel, so “best wishes” and all our hopes for a peaceful and content future.

  26. Anonymous says:

    I have a just started a new blog about surviving child abuse if you would like to look at it. I have several disorders in surviving what I experienced.

    http://climbthewell.wordpress.com/

  27. Anonymous says:

    I very much would like to follow your blog but can’t seemed to find the “Follow” widget in your side bar. You you have one that I missed?

  28. Dylan says:

    Hello, Jeff. I too have DID, and with coconsciousness. I am planning on one day working on getting equal rights for alters.

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