I Looked at a Bird and Knew What We’ve Known All Along

In the beginning, God Created Man.

No, strike that.  God did not create man in the beginning, he had better things to do: like building a new universe.  Think about that one.  Man was included in the plan, along with about a thousand thousand thousand (okay, just keep that number going in your mind) – alien races.

They are all part of God’s plan.

We weren’t created in “god’s image”, not the way the pope would like you to think.  (You think god has two hands, arms, and legs and a shaggy white beard??? Pol-leeeeeze!!!  You have let words come into your mind.)

If anything we are like Him in every other single way. We feel; He feels.  We think, He thinks.  We wonder and question, He wonders and questions, and asks Himself: where is this all going.

In some ways, the Universe is a grand ol’ experiment on a universal scale, us included.

You think God doesn’t ‘evolve’???  Do you picture some old statue frozen in time and place?  Again, that long drawn out ‘please’ word.  God is a dynamic being, with goals of his own.

God didn’t ‘start’ with us, and it didn’t happen in seven days.  It took much, much, much longer than that!  And he had His time – after all, when you are an eternal being, what’s a few millions of years?  Not even a drop in the bucket, or whisper in the wind.

God set up this universe.  He has a goal whether we like it or not, accept it or not, fight it or not, and he’s gonna do it, taking us all – and I do mean ALL – with him.  So stop your struggling and fighting this well known fact (if you’re a believer, that is.)  If you don’t believe, that’s okay, too.  It really doesn’t matter to him because it makes no difference to him, and he loves you regardless.  What you may see as abuse by God doesn’t affect the goal.  Actually, most of the abuse you’ve suffered is to teach you as well as me and my selves.  We’ve learned.  (took enough time! but he’s patient, would recycle me in a heartbeat if needed to get me to learn this stuff.  Which I am.  I don’t like being recycled; it means coming back down here and trying it again.  Great fun, eh?  Enjoying your life?  I’m starting to enjoy mine after, oh, 49 years.)  You’ll find out.

BTW, if you find this offense, I don’t care; it’s all right, because it doesn’t matter in the end.  I’m just trying to help some folks find their soul and that connection they have felt missin’ since, oh …. say about day one.  (Like I did; lost the durn telephone number I guess!  LOL!)

In the beginning, God had to create life, because that is part of him.  Think “magic spark”.  But . . . there’s only raw materials to work with.  How the materials got there is, well … .  We’re thinkin’ it has to do with something scientists can’t see (but are trying to find out.).  Also explains that new mystery to my own scientists about scientists discovering the universe is expanding at an ever increasing rate.  And yes this all ties in together (thinking of Jeffery’s song sung to the Oz Scarecrow’s tune “If I Only Had a Brain”.)

But here’s all this material, worlds built and all that kinda nonsense.  He’s got to populate these.  How does he start?

Again, easy enough. (After all, ya gotta remember who this guy is!.)  Have you heard about self-replicating molecules??  What about prions???  Then the step of Life – those little things we call viruses?  Moving on, growing more complex – yes, you can call it “divine intervention in evolution” – and you’d be sort of right.

After all, God knows which way to roll the ball.  Roll it in one direction, it goes this way; roll it in another and you’ve got . . .  mankind. (yippee! we’re here!  Everyone dance . . . thinking of that old skit on Saturday Late Night Show . . . ‘and daunce!” boogieing around.)  Truth and symbology to that.

Getting back to this bird we saw (you’ve been patient with me, thank you very much.)

In every form of life – from those little viruses to mammoth elephants and beyond . . .  is a spark of life.  And THAT life is the essence of what we’ve all been looking for (duh, come on with me, we’ve been talking about this all morning.  Do I have to spell everything out?)  In every blade of  grass, stick and twig; in you and me and your dog and cat and that bird out there – is a speck of the REAL godhead.  Right there, right in front of your nose; everywhere if you think about it in the terms I do, with our “science” side knowing we are covered in ‘germs’ and ‘filth’.  Well guess what, boys and girls – don’t hate.  They are there because they are there, and if you think about it right you realize: we are covered, surrounded, inside and out, over and over again, top middle and bottom – with this, “his” essence.  That is NOT to say “we” or you or any of those animals* out there ARE god; they’re not, and neither are we.  Just a part of him.

Anyway, that’s what I saw out there in this little bird chirruping and flapping around as it hunted for seeds and insects to eat.  (Yeah, parts of god eating himself; shades of a Christian religious belief.)

And that’s all, folks.  This is Elvis, signing off, hoping I made some sense and enlightened some eyes.  If not (shrug) – He don’t care.  Not really.  Because it doesn’t matter in the end.

He loves ya anyway.
Have a good day; we have duties to do.  Like mow the yard. (ugh, parts of me are saying, but it’s good – sunny, beautiful day down, and M3 has been trying to get on it for the past few days.)  sighing — off to the races again, my friends, riding my mowing horse, LOL!  (Better put the earplugs in, I’d reckon!  And nose filters, too – there’s gonna be some real dust!!  (cough cough, hack hack, leaving the theater to go help, LOL!)))

*PS: always forget these stupid notes when I see someone saying something and I’m too busy typing.  “Animals” (see asterisk) – do you think this – all of the above? – is where our ancestors got the bizarre notion that if they sacrificed animals it would buy them heaven?  Interesting theory.  And yes: we did study sociology as part of our self-defense against our biological father.  He put us through a psych experiment — see which way the mouse would twitch, and if he trained it: could he kill it?   I know he ‘killed’ my sibling, who was not given training.  You know: control subject.  And poor other mouse is very much ‘dead’.  We have grave doubts we’ll ever be able to help him get past the wall of words he’s built within himself, against himself and the world. I would love to be able do unburying his dead selves, and the person (soul) he used to be.  Social pressures have made him, well … lets just say I’m sad for him.
Signing off – E.

LOL, for some weird reason the title I used for this reminds me of “Gilligan’s Island”, a Ship of Fools gone a’sailin’ on this life of ours – only to find themselves crashed and marooned on this Island we Call Life.

sooo….. let me tell you a little story about this voyage and how it began; how it what was happened.  There is an end, but I’m not allowed to tell you now; but trust me: it’s beautiful, and a beautiful thing, this Song of OUR Lives, so listen it’s time to tell the tale, and when you listen, listen with  heart and soul and mind; for in it drifts the sands of time……

A baby was born so long ago (not long! not long! I hear them struggle to control; they settle back, for they know … I’m on stage playing the old piano.)

And in God’s plan, the voyage of self discovery began.

No, I’m not allowed to go there, and that’s all right.  Everything in it’s own time and I can feel God smiling down on me for saying this about this, though he is sad; he has his reasons.

We have seen across our path; the turns and twists and the reasons things happened; the whys and whats and therefores; the reason for living; the reasons for doors, and we sing. (they say.  You know, the Crowd.  Man!  They are singing LOUD AND PROUD TODAY!)  I / we woke up this morning – for the first time in many long years – SMILING – despite only a few hours sleep; we have duties to do, promises to keep to ourselves (shhhh… a Voice whispers from above; stroking our hearts with fingers of LOVE and we know and we feel better knowing the love of this God – for we are one with him, and he is many – he is every one of us; you and me and I and them – and no, we’re not talking about just ‘us’ this pitiful conglomeration of souls (yeah, this is Elvis, too; we are sort of blended but I’ve got a job to do too, ya know!).

When I said that, I meant not just ‘me’ (as in the all of “us”), but you, too, our member audience.

Now, (and yes, this is still Elvis) – I want YOU to listen so you can understand this; really get it way deep down in your soul and see what I and all these ‘others’ have seen within us.  Some may call it a ‘psychosis’, but WE call it a beginning; a mergering, a wonderful thing.

You know through the ages they’ve always said that the insane are Touched by the Hand of God.  That’s funny.

Because up until, oh, about 4 or 5 days ago, we hadn’t met god.

As a matter of fact, we kinda hated him for what he’d done to us, and we grieved very deeply whenever someone died prematurely, though we’d ALWAYS KNOWN there was a lesson there.  The young ones; those who pass away early: you know, the children – those brought tears even to these jaded eyes.

But we always know: there is a reason.  And part of that reason is for you to learn.   And that’s okay, and I’m okay with that.

Death no longer grieves us; not at all, not one bit.  I’ll lie on my death bed dying with a beautiful smile on my face because WE all know where we are going, why, what has to be done there and why for what and WHO.  I would tell you more (its so beautiful! they are singing.  Shut up, you guys (I say smiling) to the crowd.)

We have become one; but remember now: one is many.  (and …persistant little bastards, LOL!! – one is many, and our “one” is one of many, and THAT one is one of many, and so on and so forth.)  I’d tell ya about it, but I’d get censored; no used typing if they are going to either a) wipe it out, or b) cut ‘n paste for another day.

But here’s the weird part:

We are ‘seeing’ how elements of our lives have ALL tied together – from this tattoo on my chest which I got some, oh, 15, 20 years ago (it shows a fallen, or rather, injured Angel being held most lovingly and tenderly by another Angel) – and over the past 3 days we’ve seen who we are; and suddenly that made sense: it’s like a brand of who we are; or a symbol, or rather, as the ‘original’ being says; a medal of honor to remind us of who were once were, and will be again.

I hadn’t a clue when I got that tattoo.  I just liked the design.  It captured something in my heart and I didn’t know why; it just did.  But now we realize we are both those angels, in a symbolic sense; not that it’s good.  There’s a very deep and profound sadness underling some of this stuff.  News at 11 and all that good nonsense, if you know what I mean.  And I don’t care – nor do I care if you think I’m mad; gone around the bend, up the corner, around another, disappearing into an alley to mutter behind some old garbage can.

Because there’s sun in my heart, and there’s sun in yours, too, if you’d let it.

Words are strange things; we use them to build bridges between each other, and walls within ourselves.

So let me tell you a little story about old time religion:

My (our) dad was ‘born again’ in our young age.  Not a bad thing, you think, huh?

Well, get this.  Mom was a witch in many ways – including her beliefs.  So imagine: here’s this kid. They are driving to church.  Mom turns around (yeah, dad’s driving), and says, “Okay, boys, after Sunday school we’re going to go home and practice our hexes.”  And I/we sigh.  I (little boy) prefers playing with the Voodoo dolls.

Yet – at the same time – I was a choir boy – for (get THIS!) – we SANG in the choir at such a young age!  Only 6,7,8. The people there said I had a voice true, a song they loved the way I love you.

I remember singing like a little bird.  Tweet freakin’ tweet.  I used to sing a LOT as a child before the music got knocked out of us.  The abuse had a LOT to do with that, but it took along time in child years – from birth until about oh, 8,9, or 10.  No big deal, now I see, for it has all come back to me, the beginning the end and inbetween we sing.

Okay Crowd, hush.  YOU all wanted this, so hush.  (smiling, softly scolding, not for real; I’m not mad at them, nor they at me, because we’re all in it together …. okay, Jeff’s beautiful voice is coming in a song of love for us all).  And that’s a good thing.

In our opinion (and I say that for your reality, because I know some of you think this is all bullshit, and I’m fine with that, smiling and knowing because we and I and all of us don’t really care (though there ARE still a few who have problems with public perception – shhhh, everyone is going because you see: it doesn’t really matter). You’ll find out one day (smiling).


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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2 Responses to I Looked at a Bird and Knew What We’ve Known All Along

  1. Noel says:

    Hello Jeff, this is a very interesting post. Not offended at all. On the contrary, it is very thought provoking and inspiring. I have abandoned the traditional Christian view of God some time ago. I believe that God is much greater than we can imagine,i.e. more than just a Being who creates universe in 7 days, better than a Being who sends people to hell, bigger than a Being who should answer our prayers, and if He doesn’t then there is something wrong with us (or Him). I have returned to basics, still a follower of Jesus, rooted in the teachings of Mathew chapter 5 (the Beatitudes) which I believe introduces the main message of the Gospel. I came to believe that, not only are we here to believe in Jesus, preach to others, and attend church, but we are really here on earth to depend on God so that we can genuinely serve the poor and the needy. By blog describes more about this view. God bless.


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