Pruning A Tree, We Realized . . .

It takes a long time to get a bush to fill and flower.  We learned to get a tree or bush to fill, you clip the growing tip.  From that tip come two frail shoots; clip again and you’ll have four.  This yields a tree that is filled with life, and full of flowers.

Our yard is a beautiful yard.  “God’s Green Acre” we always called it, though we were never of a religious mind.  It was just a phrase.  It was barren when we arrived; a field of dust and weeds.  Now we are happy to say beauty reigns.  There are animal habitats for all the small things: lizards, frogs, snakes and birds: things for other things feed on, for they must eat, too.  A wonderful yard, though we did not know why or how to enjoy it.  And yes – we did it all with M3’s hands.  It took decades.

I had never realized the beauty M3 had created; even M3 admits: he didn’t know why he planted the beautiful trees full of lavender flowers in spring, and great big leaves for summer.  They are Chinese Emperoress Parasol trees; look them up.  The grow about 8 feet a year; fast, invasive if you do not watch out.  Symbolic in many ways.

We have bushes, bulbs and whatnot.  M3 never truly appreciated what he’d done; eyes blind by internal pain, and jaded with too much burden: all M3 saw was more work.  But he always felt driven towards creating beauty (as we all are inside).  He hid behind work, numbing his mind.

It takes time, growing of trees, pruning of tips to get the them to grow full, and flower in passionate profusion.  Not months – decades.

But today, clipping and tending – oh, so carefully – DA* noted – “this is like what god did,” meaning to us.  And the truth of his words bloomed.

Pruning hurts.  I know.  We were ‘pruned’.  But . . . it is easier done early.  And it hurt.  Yes, it hurt bad sometimes, grief to the heart.  Hurt enough that we branched.

And we suddenly realized DA was right.  It takes time for new growth to grow – and you must carefully clip at exactly the right time – before the bloom, but after the growth.  And the tree weeps.

We realize who the gardener was and is.  He had to hurt the plant he wished to grow, to form it into the shape he desired.  Sometimes he cut deep; keeping roots and reasons buried.

This was done to me.  Knowing – we acknowledge the plan.  The hands the gardener chose for this work were unskilled, hard and uncaring.  Instead of a neat ‘snip’ – they tore the tips with angry teeth and hands, ripping the bark and making us bleed pain into sadness.  But what they did was grow the tree inside.

Now that we see, it makes sense to us all, this pruning of the tree.  For to come to flower in fullness and life, this thing had to be done.  The tree sometimes still weeps at the scars, remembering the pain of pruning – but in that there is new beauty.

It’s a beautiful thing.  True – pain is pain – but peace comes with understanding.

(*The 2nd entity above our core; so close he can touch it.  We are teaching him of this world; he is teaching us even more.  He is both very sad, and funny – and possesses special qualities which we all can share now.  And yes: he loves us so deeply it hurts; as we love him)

Peace be with you. Obey the golden rule.
Thank you very much: your friends in the multi-mind., JW et al.


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle ( ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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6 Responses to Pruning A Tree, We Realized . . .

  1. Pingback: Pruning A Tree, We Realized . . . (via A Song of Life: Being DID) | concretecrissy

  2. Catherine MacLeod says:

    It is very sad what happened to you and your brother. My dad was a return serviceman from ww2. He had schizophrenia and was extramely violent towards all of us. He was also a pedophile and age and gender did not matter to him. He groomed my older brother to be a pedophile. I am so full of rage I can barely breathe. Torn with emotion between love and hate. I have to stay away from my family for I am affraid I will seek revenge for what they did to me.


  3. Sam Ruck says:

    Pruning hurts so much. I feel like I’ve been pruned down to a stump, but I hope some day we start to come out of the pruning phase and into the blooming phase.

    Cheers to M3!



    • jeffssong says:

      (( Hugs fer ya, Sam )). I know – it’s painful no matter which way you cut it. I learned to look at life as a series of painful lessons from day 1. Life is abusive – from that first breath of harsh dry air you breathed when you were born until the final insult of being ripped from the husk to continue on . . . somewhere else. We have to learn to take loss . . . and find hope, continue on. You know how it goes, and if not – that’s what I’m here for. We see you as a friend of DID ‘patients’ who is probably doing more for his wife than any therapist could. And if you need it, you got a friend here, o’tay? We like your blog and what we see. We’ve got a non-DID spouse: we protect, but understand, okay? Just in case any of you – or your other’s one’s souls – need anything – we’ll do our best for ya.
      After all, as our man Jeffery keeps reminding us: “We’re all in this together (happy tune, sung to the Scarecrow’s Wizard of Oz song).


  4. Jeffery, I understand and I feel your words deeply. I don’t have words to express how I feel right now. I think I am in awe of what you know. Thank you.


  5. TikkTok says:

    Made me think of God’s Chisel, by The Skit Guys (you can find it online if you are so inclined). Pruning sure sucks at the time, though.


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