The Bloody Coin of Abuse

The Bloody Coin of Abuse

I used to meet survivors online on a popular internet provider back in the mid-90’s; we grew to counseling each other as best we could, crippled minds and all.  They said I was pretty good at it.  (Brandi O.? Where are you?)  Eventually I guess that provider decided it was too much of a liability issue, and those were among the first chat rooms to go.  (I miss those old friends.)

But I used to tell survivors this.

We have a coin all covered in blood, and we all stare at the blood, crying in pain, remembering how it got there.  But – under that blood is value – the golden understanding and compassion that only a survivor can have – both for themselves, and others like them.  We are compassionate, feeling, and rescuers all, I think – a creative crowd, us survivors.  We had to be.

The psychiatrists and counselors, therapists and psychologists (what I call the ‘shrink’ crowd) – many have been ‘there’, and they try to help, so I can’t knock what they are trying to do.  But just like you, they are struggling to understand.  It took me a long time to realize that what was done made us a better, stronger, more compassionate person – and not by my abuser.  By me and my own realizations.

This isn’t to say we haven’t fallen down in our goals; or that am some saint or innocent – we’re far from those things.  I’m just a man who was abused.

So we learned – just as in every blessing lays a curse, in every curse there is a blessing – and for us it is those qualities which only those who have survived can have – the rescuers, the ones who bravely smile as the world falls apart (and then fall apart later) – the true souls, saints and sinners alike: my brethren, the abused children who survived, those fallen who didn’t, and those who are struggling on.

Grasp the coin; look past the blood.  There is value there more dear to us all than you can imagine: and that value is YOU.

The blessing in a curse; a hard burden to bear – and yet – a gift to the world.  Your gift to give.

Thank you very much.  I hope this has helped explain – and given you a reason for having endured, survived – and heal and thrive.

Go in peace.


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle ( ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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One Response to The Bloody Coin of Abuse

  1. Another excellent post thanks for sharing! I enjoy reading your blog very much. Spending time with my family is something I love to do. Feel free to stop by Easy Lifestyles sometime. We would love to see you there


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