The Body . . . Thinner, thinner . . . gone, LOL!

The Body.  Such an overlooked piece of equipment; a sad appendage for us to hang onto.  Scarred and beaten – more scars than I can count; hundreds, probably – some self-inflicted, most not.  Pits from ‘shrapnel’ (actually, flying pieces of rock from a 105 that landed just . . . a little bit . . . too close).  Spinal arthritis;’connective tissue damage’.  Nerve damage. An atrophied scapular muscle.  Blown knee.  Missing teeth. Et cetra.  Old age is a B****!, LOL!!

But . . . we’ve got “oopsies” going on, and while we don’t usually mind, we do when other folks start pointing them out.  Even worse: we know what we are doing, sort of and sort of not: we don’t eat unless we’re hungry and we’ve gone too far.  (We used to have an overweight problem in our teens.)  I weigh less than in high school.

My scientific side points to studies that a 40% reduction in diet aids in a longer (10-15%) lifespan.  (Look it up, real data.)  We’ve long suspected this – way before the studies – that the more you eat, the more crap in your bloodstream, and the ‘lazier’ your metabolism (less efficient) gets, resulting in a higher generation of oxides and waste products, which chews at the cells, and results in more organ strain because your body is simply processing more food – and poisons.

And then theres the “Eating souls is bad,” a part says, seeing seeds as tiny grains of life – seeds which we grind up and put into our flour, if you get my drift.  That is Mikie, bless his heart.

But there is such a thing as too little.  Eating disorders are common in abuse survivors.  And our biology training tells us that a diet deficient in vitamin C or B (water solubles) can lead to scurvy or berry-berry.  Go figure.  Knew that training would come in handy one day.  (It’s that analytical mind coupled to a 150 horsepower engine with a librarian (think instant Google) behind him.  We remember tech facts – but people’s names? Nawww…)

But people have come to me (what few there are; I have few friends anymore) – and said “M3? You been eatin’?  What?  My, you’re thin.”

I reckon that’s my cue, but you know us DIDs: Body comes last.  Glad the spouse helps: she knows we don’t eat right.  And I did the ‘right’ thing today: picked up some multi-V’s.  An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but it’s certainly not enough to keep you alive.  And yet some days . . . that’s all I eat, if that.

And yet: not hungry hardly ever.  I developed ‘browsing’ as a corporate type (not enough time to even eat on the run sometimes) – and based it on what I called “the caveman diet”.  (This was before ‘browsing’ became the term for it.)  I thought like this:

Here’s Ug, early in the morning.  Gets up. Scratches his butt, peers out of the cave.  Stumbles to cave door.  Scratches armpits, heads out into the brush to get some breakfast and do his business.  Catches a bug or two.  Snatches some grain from stalks.  On the way back maybe finds a dead bird.  Yum.

Satisfied, Ug goes back in the cave and snores until lunchtime.  Gets up, does it again – then snooze time.

Never does Ug sit down to 3 squares a day.  And the Lee tribe moves. (Ug? Lee? Get it?)  They must get their butts kicked a lot or something.  Mostly they walk around, snatching up a little this anda little that.  Not much meat – not like sitting down to a 8 oz. T-bone.  Mostly bites and snatches unless someone gets lucky.  Stomach never ‘swells’; metabolism adjusts to ‘high efficiency processing’ mode – and reduces waste in the system.

So you are hungry less.  And when you do eat – you don’t eat a lot. I know that’s how I ‘conquered’ my weight problem (that and poverty, LOL!). But on the other hand . . .there is the opposite.

That’s where I’m at.  It’s part of being DID.

Sometimes we forget the dumb body.


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle ( ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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