Reviews for “The Boy”

Okay, I’m stickin’ them here if anyone wants to look – and as a ‘backup’ just in case my computer dies.  Yeah, sure, I hope you buy it and like it – because SSDI income (after taxes) makes me look at the dogs with the fondness of a hungry Korean.  Ain’t my words below: they came from from my initial “pre-publication publication”.  Pulled it from there after I went to Kindle – wouldn’t be fair if  publisher ever decides to pick it up (we’re all about fair!).  Anyway – the good, the bad and ugly:

I wouldn’t recommend buying the Kindle one YET – the draft version is soon to be superseded with the final version (about May/June 2011) along with a paperback on Amazon at about the same time.  Will try to remember to post links here for those.

There will be an electronic PDF type which has comments and all: think “Cliff Notes on Steriods”.  If you just read the book it’s good reading – but as my wife says – you’ll be missing 90% of the ‘hidden’ meanings and reasons for stuff – as well as all my ‘wonderful’ psych notes, author’s notes, point-outs and call-outs for foreshadowing, false foreshadowing; hints to the 50 some odd “cliff hangers” (mild to ultra) – hidden thoughts and notes …. so much in this book … and these folks didn’t get the chance to read “those things” – just the book, raw, unedited, and ‘unpublished’ (the draft of the draft copy on Kindle).

These are the ones I liked best, tho’ – in the ‘front cover’ of the book:

What Others Say about “The Boy”

“like a delicious piece of chocolate that you want to savor forever . . . captivating plot, great characters and sophisticated writing style . . .” (Non-m, Fictionpress)

Characters are amazing. Complex, intriguing, captivating, . . .” (Fictionpress)

The plot is absolutely amazing and the characters stand out. . . astounding with its twists, its emotion, its power . . . I feel for the characters. . . . Hell, I’m attached to them! (the) writing is just brilliant. . . . I’ve teared up . . . The way it’s written, the development, the characters, the twists. Outstanding work . . .truly is a piece of art. Not many writers can do this to a reader – fiddle with their hearts and make them feel so riveted and addicted to read more. –Aevium (fictionpress)

. . . . a roller coaster ride with so much raw emotion. Twists and turns abound. Mulitple cliffhangers. . . .touched my heart. Excellent job.” (A_Reader, fictionpress)

the story is intriguing, the plot seamlessly tied together, and the character/location descriptions are amazingly clear. “ (Anonymous, Fictionpress)

Amazing story. . . a little bit of everything. Love. Hate. The hate of love. The love of hate. Racism. Equality. Adventure. Action.. Suspense. Horror. Happiness. Beauty. Violence. Peace. Tears. Joy. Crime. Justice. Corruption. Innocence. The corruption of innocence. The beauty of love. Errors in judgment, and truth. Twists . . . Ironies and double meanings. Singular points of truth. Symbolisms. Reality. Fantasy. Dreams. Nightmares. Bad and good. Dark and light. . . . plays on my heartstrings . . .” (reader, fictionpress)

AND for the RAW Reviews: (Be aware: May contain SPOILERS!) and I’m sorry if some of the reviewers were long winded. Not my fault.

…2011-03-07 . chapter 82This was a damn good story, one of the best I’ve seen here. You need to get this published. It was horrifying and horrifyingly good. Thanks for posting this. BTW when are you going to finish part 2? I’ve been waiting for awhile.
Kwestor2010-05-11 . chapter 1″Tradgy,” should this be Tragedy?Good story by the way.
Just Someone 2009-09-30 . chapter 82I absolutely loved this story and I hope you get it published one day. It took a long time to read, but was so worth it. The characters, especially Matt and Jeff and their relationship is so true to life and becomes wonderful. I have been starting to read your part II of this story and it seems pretty good thus far. Please keep up the good writing and thank you for a beautiful story in so many ways.
Marj1232009-05-22 . chapter 83I have been totally caught up in this saga. You must take some time to find an agent. It would be a crime if a novel of this quality is not published. Just make sure and check out any agent by looking for mentions on independent web sites, not their own. This applies especially to those who boast of being ‘traditional’ publishers. You may find they’re subject to law suits for abstracting money from authors rather than representing them. I wish you luck.
Marj123 2009-05-21 . chapter 81Beautifully written.
Marj1232009-05-21 . chapter 79Tremendous story.
Invalid Account2009-05-21 . chapter 40Are you going to try and get this published? It is quite amazing so far, and I think that you actually have a good chance at getting it published if you sent it in.
Dang… this is quality writing here, with an amazing plot and such well developed character. Applause to you from me.
Marj123 2009-05-19 . chapter 34Your statistics for abuse of children are nonsense, probably a result of reports from interested parties making a career in the field, and grossly overstating the case by using a ridiculous definition. For instance, in Australia, the current definition for child sex abuse, is ANY unwanted touch to a ‘child’ under 18. So if Uncle Albie pats his 17yr old niece on the bottom, she becomes a ‘sexually abused child.’ It is not the same as rape of a young child. My own guess at the reality, and I have worked in the medical field, is more like 3%, not 40 or 70% as you state. Serious abuse would have to be less than 1%.
Otherwise, this is a great chapter.
Marj123 2009-05-19 . chapter 33Quality writing.
Kikuyu 2009-05-18 . chapter 3An excellent start. I congratulate you. Your descriptions are great.
Marj1232009-05-17 . chapter 5This is a brilliant novel. It is deserving of publication.
Marj1232009-05-17 . chapter 3Your very first paragraph nearly put me off reading this. So over-littered with adjectives, that it seems pretentious. I’m glad I read on, as it has me totally involved now. I have work to do, and this room is cold, otherwise I’d be here all day reading. Back later.
Anonymous 2009-04-16 . chapter 82Now that you have marked this ‘complete’ I have spent the last three days trying to write a review which would do this story justice, and have finally come to the conclusion I can’t. There is so much to say!
First, the genre – is it a love story? Yes, albeit the most unusual love story I’ve ever read. Is it a ‘chick story’? No, not solely, for it is as tough and gritty as an old country road (and yet the words and phrases flow like silk), and has a level of interest which goes far beyond gender. Is it a crime story? Yes, and the crimes it describes are horrendous, with the law officers caught in struggles between pursuing the case and their personal agendas. Bill Crenshaw, the straight shooting sheriff caught by a well meaning web of corruption; the shifting power plays among the FBI agents – all are intriguing and reveal human nature at its best and worst. And even the ‘purest’, Derrick, isn’t all that he seems. He, too, is driven by interests far beyond the case. Politics? Bobby Lee is an excellent example of a failing small town politician with secrets to hide. Horror? Just read about Harold Thompson! That such a man would exist gives me goosebumps; and yet a casual reading of the newspaper will tell you that there are such people around. What a scary thought! What a wonderful tale!
I would be tempted to place this story in the ‘Human Interest’ category, as well as in ‘Drama’ and ‘Psychological Thriller’, since it fits those terms, but this story defies labeling, unless you want to speak purely in terms of glowing praise. For review purposes that simply will not do. It has all the hallmarks of a masterpiece, with artistic merit far beyond the run of the mill stories I have read. The main two characters, Matt and Jeff, – especially Jeff — are hauntingly real. I know I will not forget them, nor this tale. Scary, wonderful, and amazingly done, it touches on so many levels, and swings the reader from one end of the emotional spectrum to another. It will leave you shivering with horror at times; and then swell your heart with aching emotion. Well done!
Speaking of characters – never before have I seen two characters evolve the way Matt and Jeff have. Their movement from what they are to who they become is so natural that it astounds me, and I find myself going back through this novel again and again, marveling at the delicate touches which show their growth over time. I can not say enough about how well you handled these two. If anyone ever asks me for a story which illustrates the proper way to breath two characters to life and illustrate the changes between them, I’m going to refer them to this emotionally powerful tale. You managed to pull off a love story, albeit one of the most unusual love stories I have EVER read – and a horror story, a drama, and more – while maintaining amazing scenery and an intriguing, unusual plot.
The plot. Amazing, intriguing, engrossing, horrifying, troubling, comforting, scary, and with more twists and turns than a Gordian knot, it kept us guessing all the way through. As an experiment I printed out the second to last chapter, stopping it on Jeff’s now infamous question, then I watched to see what people familiar with this story would do. Amazing! After the initial ‘oh my Gods!’, there was a number of heated debates, with people divided on both sides of the issue. You shook social mores, making people question their beliefs and feelings in what was ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. And I don’t mind telling you, you were skating on a razor’s edge, just one word from going too far, and there seemed to be only two ways it could go. Instead you took off in a third direction, one we never saw coming, and what can I say? It was amazing, touching, wonderful, beautiful! I have never seen this done before, and kudos for not only keeping it tasteful, but keeping it real.
I look forward and am counting on you to continue part two. It already has such a different ‘feel’ than the first part – much more light and airy thus far – and makes for interesting reading. I think you were right to divide this story into two parts. Already there is some guesswork concerning the characters in it, and the troubles they will bring (as revealed in part Two’s summary). I have no doubt that you will continue to surprise and shock us, since you seem to have a knack for surprising twists and shocking scenes which resolve themselves beautifully. This series tells a tale worth telling and I hope you get it published soon.
As for this review – it is woefully inadequate, like trying to describe an orchid’s colors to a blind man. All I can say is if you are a reader, then this is a story well worth reading, no matter what genre you prefer, or gender you belong to. Action, adventure, survival, love, suspense, emotional drama, angst, beauty, love, and the harsh reality of it all – it is as someone promised – a real roller coaster and a thrilling ride that will shock and leave you breathless with hope, anticipation, fear, and horror. A wonderful story with a wonderful cast of characters – if this story does not touch you on several levels, then you do not have a soul. I know that it has touched mine – and several others around me. Well done, Deepsouth – and keep up the good work. I am looking forward to reading it again, and the conclusion of part two.
Non-m 2009-03-22 . chapter 81OH MY GOODNESS!! What an AMAZING chapter. I’m speechless. I really don’t know what to say and there’s no way to translate how I feel right now into words, but I’ll try :DFirst of all, this chapter is AMAZING (I know I already said that but I have to repeat myself). It’s the first chapter in a while, excluding a few chapters here and there, that has been so absorbing. After such an explosive start, I was worried for a while that the story was starting to plateau and that we wouldn’t be seeing much more of the chapters (like many of the earlier chapters) that just leave you in awe and make you pause, cringe, and then hastily devour the words in desperation to find out what’s going to happen. But this chapter definitely did that. I could just tell when I started reading the chapter that it would be great. I love the way you started the chapter showing Jeff questioning Matt and the kind, patient way Matt responded. I absolutely loved the following line:

“ ‘And why do you want me to know?’ Jeff found himself asking. Subconsciously, he craved the soothing comfort of Mister’s voice more than the answers to his questions, and he unconsciously curled his fingers against Matt’s chest, unaware he was clutching the man’s shirt.”

I could just imagine Jeff questioning Matt (even repeating the same question absent-mindedly) just to hear Matt speak.

And as for the rest of the chapter…well OMG. I was very surprised that you included that scene into the plot because of the potential criticism you might get for having the protagonist entertain that idea, even if so briefly, but I’m glad you did because it was amazing (I know I’m overusing that word but it’s your fault) and I can see why that would be a very hard chapter for you to write.

I agree with the other reviewer who wrote about the conflicting emotions the chapter drew out of him because it also made me so confused; for a minute, I wasn’t sure if I wanted them to be together or not and that definitely is a reflection of how well you’ve managed to get the characters across to your readers. The chapter concluded perfectly though and I loved reading Matt’s reflections on the event. One of your greatest skills is that you have such a great understanding of your characters; you know exactly how they would react in each situation, which makes this feel like something very real, not just another story.

Good luck with the rest of the story. I’m very excited to hear that there will be a part II.


PS. I wanted to clarify the comment I made about the story starting to plateau. I just feel that for a while, there have been a lot of cop/FBI scenes, which are okay, but nowhere near as captivating as the Matt/Jeff scenes or the older scenes with Harold. (However, I thought the chapter showing Derrick’s thoughts on Matt though was very refreshing and one of the first really interesting cop scenes.) For me though, when I come and check for an update and I see that that specific chapter is about Frank or Tom or Derrick, I’m always a little disappointed because those chapters are never as captivating as the Matt/Jeff scenes. My advice would be to abridge the cop/FBI scenes so the reader can spend more time with the characters that we’ve really grown to love now and less time sifting through the other, less-intriguing chapters.

A_Reader 2009-03-21 . chapter 81OMG! OMG! OMG! If you haven’t read the story, don’t read this chapter – it will probably ruin it for you. But when you read it – OMG! I actually found myself hoping for a moment Matt would show Jeff love the way Jeff knows despite it being wrong. It seemed like it was going to happen with Matt’s disentergrating state of mind. And despite it being so wrong it also seemed it would be right – but how wrong! And yet how right! But how wrong! How did you make me feel that way? I don’t think I would of felt that way if I did not understand the characters so well which shows how well you have portrayed these characters – these PEOPLE. And then you turn it around and Matt gives him love by teaching Jeff love. But Jeff already knew how to love. But in the wrong way. And Matt teaches him real love. How beautiful!
This chapter has really left me a mess. My trash basket is half full of tissues. There are not words to tell you how this chapter has left me feeling – happy, glad, sad, repulsed, attracted, troubled, torn, hoping, bothered with my own self – what a mess! My husband came in wanting to know why I was crying and all I could do was point. When he went to read it I told him no, he’s going to have to read it all. What a wonderful story. And Matt is so troubled it is troubling and so is the boy and yet it is so beautiful and so is their love. You simply have to finish this story. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
And PS good luck and enjoy your trip. I can see where after writing this you would need it. I think I need to go cry some more for reasons I don’t understand but I also want to jump up and down with joy. How you have managed to pull all of these feelings out of me with just this one short chapter in a long and glorious story is beyond me. You have done so well.
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Anonymous 2009-03-16 . chapter 78I should be working, but I found myself coming back to this story to post another review, despite swearing I would wait until this story is ended.
I can’t help but draw comparisons between this story and other literary works of art. The writing has an almost Hemingway feel, with some John Grisham thrown in for good measure – gritty at times, but the words roll as smooth as silk. You’ve managed to project multiple viewpoints throughout this story while maintaining consistency – a challenge to be sure, especially with the depth of characterization.
Thus far I have compared this story to some other greats, such as “Huckleberry Finn”, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, and others.
Now I must add “Lolita” and “The Fugitive” to the list. Maybe even a touch of “Rambo” on the side.
These past four or five chapters have really opened up the characters to the readers. Jeff’s actions, while shocking, plus Matt’s apparent mental breakdown has bets going around the break room. I fear for the both of them, and we stand in suspense.
Is Jeff the willing and (in this case) pursuing Lolita, and Matt an unsuspecting Humbert? Will we have to add “Thornbirds” to the list?
An engrossing, well written story. I look forward with both fear and anticipation to how this will end.
reader 2009-03-13 . chapter 75An amazing story. It has a little bit of everything. Love. Hate. The hate of love. The love of hate. Racism. Equality. Adventure. Action.. Suspense. Horror. Happiness. Beauty. Violence. Peace. Tears. Joy. Crime. Justice. Corruption. Innocence. The corruption of innocence. The beauty of love. Errors in judgment, and truth. Twists in plot. Ironies and double meanings. Singular points of truth. Symbolisms. Reality. Fantasy. Dreams. Nightmares. Bad and good. Dark and light. This story plays on my heartstrings like fingers on a harp.The characters are so real. At first I found myself never wishing the boy’s fate on anyone. Now I want to be the boy, feeling fire of his twisted love for Matt. I condemned Matt for taking the boy. Now I want to be Matt, holding the boy against my chest and loving him in the way he deserves. I see the flaws in procedure which lead to blind errors in judgment. I understand the value of a hunch. I see people guessing wrong and getting it right. I see people guessing right and getting it wrong. This is really a wonderful story and should be published. It deserves its place in the sun.

For those who have not read this story, you might want to. It definitely has something for anyone with a soul. Anything you could want is in there. I guess its what you’d call a saga. I know it has moved me through all those emotions I mentioned. Its really good. One of the best I’ve read. Period.

Amethysto2009-03-11 . chapter 1This story is amazing. The detail and emotion in it are beautiful. I was reading your biography, which impressed and awed me. You’re amazing. Seriously. I’m speechless.
Anonymous 2009-03-09 . chapter 73An intriguing story. Normally I don’t ‘review’ stories here; I come to fictionpress and fanfiction to remind myself what really bad writing looks like (a break from my job), though there are some jewels here. Like my mother used to say: if you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all. And in many cases the stories here are so lacking in style, technique, or description (other than the occasional good plot) that any amount of advice isn’t going to measurably improve them.In your case, however, the story is intriguing, the plot seamlessly tied together, and the character/location descriptions are amazingly clear. (There is a little bit too much ‘fat’, but that’s to be expected in a pre-edited pre-published environment.) You do need to get some ‘fresh eyes’ looking at this; there are a few typographical errors and repeats – no doubt the artifacts of editing and a tired author’s eyes. I do like the way you bring events forward, tying them together to carry the story along. Things seem logical; no contrivances, no false notes. The coincidences don’t seem artificial and there don’t seem to be many of them. No ‘miracles’ here, it reads like real life.

I was going to wait until you had finished this story to post a review — I don’t like reviewing an incomplete story since many an author has belly flopped on the finish, ruining what would otherwise be a good tale, but in your case I don’t think this will apply. You seem able to keep track of the myriad details involved, as well as evolving your characters in such a way that all seems perfectly natural. The boy and man’s involvement, the gradual evolution of their relationship, as well as that of the boy’s father seems reasonable. I actually found myself feeling sorry for the boy’s father, and sometimes condemning the hero — a sign your characters ‘human’. In many ways this represents a psychological thriller. (It also falls into several other genre’s, such as human interest, drama, crime thriller, adventure classic, and odyssey.)

Which brings me to the next point. In my life I have read literally thousands of books, and yours echoes many of the greats — the truck and the pairs’ travels reminds me of Steinbeck’s “Grapes of Wrath” (everyone is poor and broke, and the truck is old), the boy’s final behavior towards his father is Oedipusal, and the violence of the behavior reminiscent of “The Lord of the Flies” (when Simon dies). The relationships of the boy to the man are like an advanced case of Clemons’s “Huckleberry Finn”, with a colored man and a young boy being drawn together by bounds of love, and yet sent fleeing by the demands of the society in which they reside. The vagrant’s state of mind brings to mind “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, only his escape and motivations are different. When I find a story where there is no one who is all ‘good’ or all ‘evil’, but a balance between the two, I know I am reading about real people, and not an author’s contrived effort to project something that does not exist. (That being a ‘purely good’ or ‘purely evil’ character).

The characters in this story are well done. I find myself amazed at that I understand the inner motivations which drive their actions, thoughts, and words — which means you have a great understanding of a variety of human natures and behaviors, and are able to convey it well. As stated, you have done an excellent job bringing the vagrant (obviously mentally ill), the boy’s father (an even sicker individual), and the boy (emotionally troubled) to life. Every author breaths a little bit of themselves into their characters; I can not but help wonder which one you are, the man, or the boy, or perhaps a little bit of both. I just hope that you are not ‘Harold’! It certainly seems you have experienced these things in order to write about them so well, and so clearly that any reader with half a mind and a scattering of brain cells can understand the complexity of these characters’ internal motivations.

Reading about the boy, especially in this last chapter, has been like watching a slow motion train wreck – only the train hasn’t wrecked yet. As the reader you can see the obstacle, the train bearing down on it – and now the train is rearing and the wheels are falling off. Only that train is represented in this fascinating (and detailed!) tale by the child (a beautiful and yet sadly twisted boy). In some ways he reminds me of Dameon, and yet not, because what Dameon does is out of fun; the boy only wants to be loved in a way he can recognize as love. In many ways this chapter has been darker than *any* of the others; after reading it I laid awake wondering what’s going to become of him, and his relationship with the man. I trust you are going to keep it tasteful (as you’ve done before), while still either shocking us all, or bringing the boy’s special issues to a conclusion, one way or another. I don’t know, and it still haunts me, hours after reading it. I know this issue between the child and the man is going to prey on my mind until you resolve it in one form or another. Simply fascinating.

At any rate, I wanted you to know there are other eyes watching this story – and a powerfully evocative one it is!. I would rate it as one of my ‘top ten’ favorite reads thus far, except that it doesn’t quite fit into that category. Its beginning to edge into the top five or six, which is saying something, considering all the stories I’ve read. I just hope you can keep it up, and that you don’t fail at the end. You’ve really got me wondering where this one will go. Excellent job.

PS: I really loved your description of the store. Like so many other locations described in this story, I found myself ‘there’, being Matt, purchasing things and struggling with the truck. However, I tend to agree with a previous reviewer. The descriptions are a bit long and wordy, and you should look at cutting them back. But be careful! Its more a matter of using the right adjectives and sentence structure than it is the ‘cutting’ portions of the scenes. You write almost like a screen writer, seamlessly choreographing the elements into a detailed dance. Each word seems to support the descriptions in a way that makes them more real, but there is a certain amount of redundancy which makes things ‘drag on’ here and there. Not that I’m complaining! The story has been wonderful thus far, and I can tell real effort has been put forth to make it that way. However, in a professional editing environment I would find myself chopping it here or there to keep the story moving. You might think of doing the same, though any professional publisher would be happy to give you a hand with this one. After all, it’s a money maker if I ever saw one, and a smart publisher will realize that upon review. (I was glad to see in your profile that you are going to attempt to get it published.) Good luck, though I don’t think you’ll be needing luck. This one could work out to be a profitable one, and in more ways than one. Keep up the good work. ~ A.

Non-m 2009-03-09 . chapter 73Thank you so much for updating so regularly. It must be really hard to write and edit each chapter in such a short time and I’m continually impressed with the polished quality of each chapter; there are no typos or grammatical errors in most chapters.This was another great chapter as usual. I think sometimes though I feel as if the descriptions are a little too long and can be shortened. The best parts of the story occur when the characters are interacting with one another. The other long passages describing the setting etc (such as in the beginning of this chapter) aren’t as captivating and in my opinion not as necessary. So if you’re looking to trim the story a little bit, I think that would be a good place to abridge a little.

Great job with the story!

Non-m 2009-03-05 . chapter 71This story just keeps getting better and better. I LOVE all the matt/jeffery scenes and now I feel like some of the cop/FBI scenes are starting to get really interesting. You’re very talented at pulling so many emotions out of your readers.Impatient as ever for another update 😀
A_Reader 2009-03-05 . chapter 71Wow. Really. Words can’t even begin to describe this story. I’ve been reading it an I’m hooked. Amazing work. Beyond art its a masterpeice. You don’t have a command of the english language – you RULE it! This reads more beautiful than shakespears sonnets. The sweet is so sweet it sings without being corny. The characters, the scenes are so well developed I AM there. I swear some of it reads like photos, only better. I love the way the words flow. Simply one of the best ever stories I’ve ever ever ever read it haunts me even in my sleep! This one is going to stick with me for a long time. I look forward to each and every chapter. Someone said it tastes like chocolate. I say its even better. and like the author says its a roller coaster ride of emotion, lifting me to heights and then plunging me into dark horrors. I can’t say I’ve ever read a story with so much raw emotion. Twists and turns abound. Mulitple cliffhangers. Things I can’t explain but have touched my heart. Really. I feel for ALL of the characters in this story they are so real! Excellent job. And you seem to have polished it so well. No misspellings and the grammer is better than good because you do a such a great job with the english language. I’m really impressed. More than impressed. I’m in love with this story and all the things in it. I am really hoping you can get it published so I can buy it. I would love to have this one for all my life. Its a rocking story, keep up the great work. I am really looking forward to the end though I really don’t want the story to end. Its too beautiful for an ending. But I guess you will get it there. You have me wondering so much! About what happens to Matt and jeff. And Jeff. What a beautiful job you did portraying this child and his father too. I never did understand why a kid would let someone abuse him but after reading this I understood. And I understood the father too, the villain. I actually felt bad for him poor man. But he was definately in the evil catagory! A very very scary man. And everyone has their own agenda. I love how the cops make the wrong assumptions but its the best they can do I understand that too. You write so well its scary too. Even the bad scenes. You push to the edge without going over. Thats hard to do. And you keep me guessing. I don’t know how you do it. I just know its good. One of the best things I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. (actually it is the best I can remember reading ever.) I haven’t cried because a story is so beuatiful before but you made me do it. I wish I could pput it into words but words can’t say how good it is.
For those who haven’t read this you should read it. Its a little slow starting but its like that roller coaster thing you said. By the time you are hurtling down the track you can’t let go. Its a wonderful read, the best ever. I wish you the best of luck with it and don’t forget to get it published. I want to have one on my own book shelf to read again and again. so much is in there! Thank you for writing this, and keep it up. I am dying to see how this story ends. For some reason I think you are going to give give a real kicker, and I look forward to those twists. Excellent story.
Aevium2009-03-03 . chapter 68This is so amazing. The emotion in this story is ridiculous, it’s so heart-wrenching and it’s crazy how much I feel for the characters. That scene in the last chapter (don’t mean to spoil for others, but it’s not that bad) when Jeff looked up and said that he loved Matt, it was so simple yet so emotional. I don’t know what it was about it, just it’s spontaneity I guess, it proved the progress of Matt and Jeff’s relationship. They’re really attached to each other now. Hell, I’m attached to them!Your writing is just brilliant. It gets to me–I’ve teared up, believe me. The way it’s written, the developement, the characters, the twists. It’s oh-so great. I’m deeply in love with this story. I’ve grown emotionally attached and that’s saying a lot, considering the fact that most stories I don’t tear up to. And this isn’t even published! It should be, if you’re planning on it.

Outstanding work, and I don’t plan to stop saying that. Nor do I expect you to stop delivering! This truly is a piece of art. Not many writers can do this to a reader–fiddle with their hearts and make them feel so riveted and addicted to read more. Keep it coming, you’re doing fantastic!


Melissa 2009-02-27 . chapter 67Another great chapter keep it up. I check for your updates daily.
Aevium2009-02-21 . chapter 30I’ve actually been reading this story for a bit but never reviewed. I don’t have any excuse, I have been busy, as everyone is at certain points in their lives, but I’m guilty of laziness as well, which is why I neglected to send you a review, and I sincerely apologize for that. This story deserves so much more, but clearly that isn’t bothering you, as you keep updating and updating, and I appreciate that. That’s very strong-willed.This story has got to be one of the best on this site. Period. There is no way I could put it into words, but I’ll try. The plot is absolutely amazing and the characters stand out. I really feel for Matt and Jeff, and their relationship is just wonderful. A black man with a white kid just makes it so touching and powerful.

Thompson is a scary man, that’s for sure. He’s interesting though–his relationship with Jeff is sickening, but also understandable (to a extend, of course). Jeff’s relationship towards Thompson is even more understandable, being deprived of any kind of love but the kind his father gives him.

I truly feel bad and connect with Jeff’s problems, and it makes this story really speak something to me. It’s a real experience, reading this. Although I have taken a break from it (got lots of chapters to catch up on), I will continue to read it until the end.

Really, and I mean this, great, great job. Seriously. This story is astounding with its twists, its emotion, its power. Anything else you can think of, it’s there. I have no complaints. It’s a diamond in the rough. Amazing work, keep it up! I know I’ll keep reading.


Melissa 2009-02-17 . chapter 61Absolutely dying for a new chapter. Your descriptions make me feel as though I am in the scene with the character. I was so happy to find a long story to get wrapped up in, I cannot believe how quickly you have been posting up until now. I was so surprised when I found that several chapters each day have been posted. I realize that the material of the first 50 or so chapters had been written and that the new material is more rough and requires more time to edit. However, you are beginning to kill me, very slowly. I am a big fan of your work so far, keep it up.
Melissa 2009-02-17 . chapter 10Wow, you made me really feel for Matthew and Jeff. It makes me hope things turn out for the best in the end, although I get the feeling that is not what you’re going for. Keep up the great work.
Non-m 2009-02-12 . chapter 1I just had to review the story after reading that pathetic review the other person left. First, I’d like to point out that anyone looking for quality writing on this site knows to looks for a longer story. Personally, when I start searching for new stories, I automatically set the filter to show me stories with at least 40,0 words, because those are likely to have better quality and more consistent updates. I would set the filter at an even higher word limit (like 100,0 words) if I could, except I know then there’d be only a few stories that met that criteria. Just because the other reviewer is too lazy to read anything with substantial quality and therefore length doesn’t mean he has to assume the rest of the readers are equally shallow in their reading interests. And I sincerely hope that you’re not going to slow down your updating rate because of his comments. But I do disagree with the reviewer, I think the summary’s a little weak and the full summary should also be included in the beginning of the first chapter, not just the profile. I’m not sure though that the full summary doesn’t give away too much of the plot.Anyways, I’ve been keeping up with your story from pretty early on. I loved the story when I started reading it. I got so excited because I could tell that this story would be really good, like a delicious piece of chocolate that you want to savor forever. The sentence structure is varied, vocabulary’s impressive (I’ve had to look up a couple of words here and there while reading) without seeming awkward like it does when people just go crazy using a thesaurus, and the plot and characters are equally well-done. (I actually wrote another review for this story all about the characters and plot towards the beginning, but then I didn’t end up submitting it because I hit this one scene, I think it was chapter nine or around that point, and I got so shocked and repulsed by the extreme graphic nature of the chapter that I stopped reading and closed the website. But eventually the allure of a captivating plot, great characters and sophisticated writing style won me over and I continued. I do think that there is way too much graphic content and I’m not sure all of it is necessary, and at least not in that much detail. As for the length, it’s not too long in my opinion, there are always books that are a little longer than what you’re used to running into, but that’s just style, and I personally really like this story. I’ve definitely been checking on a daily basis to see the updates. If you don’t get a lot of readers on this website, don’t be disappointed because this website is mainly targeted for more fluffy romance stories, which get the most attention. For what it’s worth, I’ve only seen very few stories of this caliber on this website, and I definitely think it’s ready to be published, but only after I’ve finished reading it 😀 since I can’t wait around till it gets published.

In terms of plot, it’s very captivating, maybe more so in the beginning than in the end. Certain scenes just seem suspended in time, like the one in the beginning when he was waiting for Jeff to sneak up on him, thinking it was an animal. All the thoughts going through his mind seem so realistic, I just feel like I’m right there waiting next to him. I think the plot moves along at a satisfying pace. There are only a couple of the scenes, usually involving the police and FBI, which I find a little repetitive and wonder if perhaps they could be removed or shortened. Some of the police/FBI scenes really add to the suspense and tension, but others seem like they’re made to be skimmed over and don’t move the plot forward substantially. (On a side note, I feel like there’s some inconsistency with the police/FBI scenes. For instance, sometimes Frank will say something about how he thinks the sheriff is doctoring information. Then in later scenes, it seems like he’s just thought of it or is saying it out loud for the first time. I know I’m not explaining myself very well right here, but it’s as if there’s an inconsistency with what the police/FBI know at a given time.)

Characters are amazing. Complex, intriguing, captivating, everything that makes for great characters. I was immediately curious about Matt from the beginning. I love all the voices in his head and his reaction to every situation is so realistic!! (I had more to say, but I’m kind of bored, considering I wrote this all in the first non-submitted review) Jeff’s great too. You definitely portrayed him in a way that really draws the empathy of the reader towards him. I just wanted to hug him in so many scenes. Equally well-portrayed is Jeff’s father Harold. All the different aspects of his character are interesting and terrifying. I think you did a good job of drawing a realistic portrait of a father who abuses his kid, giving him a multi-dimensional personality (even though his character feels more cartoonish towards the end, as he is continuously evil only, but I have yet to see how the story will end and I understand that he’s also spiraling out of control, explaining his progressively more evil character). The rest of the cast also fits their role well, except I have a hard time believing Derrick would be so at ease with Harold considering Harold was going to shoot him for no reason, not to mention that no one else takes his attempted shooting very seriously (this kind of plays in with police info gap problem).

Looking forward to reading the rest of the story. Great job so far and good luck with publishing it.

Hemii252009-02-12 . chapter 1I didn’t read the story but i guess i can offer you some advice. THIS STORY IS MEGA LONG. i advise you to post the chapters at a slower pace so people won’t feel as if they’re reading the bible. lol your summary was very capturing but when i saw the legnth i kinda cringed away. I’m reviewing because i saw that your story had none and it looked like you worked hard on this so…there you go.
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About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle ( ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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4 Responses to Reviews for “The Boy”

  1. Michael says:


    Good luck with the publishers.


  2. jeffssong says:

    (wry smile). I determined some time ago that the print industry is moving to a new set of rules. They wait to see you have what it takes to self-publish and then wait to see if anyone buys/reads before approaching. They wait until all the ‘feeder fish’ have gone by. A ‘real’ publisher takes big risks in publishing a novel; therefore they are learning a new paradigm – one which writers and readers are starting to go, the economy demands – and the book printing industries are catching on to.


    • Michael says:

      Good to know. Kinda like a play. Write it, produce it and get lots of people to some see it and then you can get backing.

      I talked to a children’s book author the other day. Right now you sent then the text and they find the illustrator. Take a look at the quality of art in current children’s books.


      • jeffssong says:

        🙂 We did some kid’s books for some very special kids to me. 2, custom hand made. And the artwork was good; pen & ink plus watercolor. I have one now; the boy gave it to me for safe keeping. The other was lost by the girl when . . . well, they had hard times.

        LOL, the so-called ‘art’ in kiddy books? Depends; some is good, some okay – some crap. TV Cartoons? Oh Gawd whut an ugly awful mess they’ve made; some of that stuff is really sick, IMO.

        There’s a future for an artist / writer who can write in the genre’. And with publish on demand anyone can do anything – coffee books, coloring books, how-to – photos, art – whutever you wanna do – and ‘get it out there’. Both a problem, curse, blessing. Also means a lot of crap is hitting the market everywhere. As (smile) – you’ve apparently seen.


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