Why Me?

Okay, first, I’ll get the obvious question up and done with:

“Why me?” People ask.

To which I answer: “Why NOT you?”

Think about it.  Think about those hidden strengths you carry.  Think about what it taught you.  The ache of compassion; the ability to see what others can’t, don’t, or won’t.  The urge to speak out.  The ability to understand someone’s pain: simply because you’ve been there, done that: know that pain; the source and the root.  Knowing you can’t dig it out – but that perhaps, in some small way – you can help.  Inside we are small children soldiers, helping each other go on; picking up the survivors, and taking them with us.  That is our job.  That is what we do.

So, indeed: “Why You?”

Well, why NOT you: you were strong enough to survive.  Sure, you got hurt, and you carry those scars today: inside you and out.  I know I do.  And of the two, it’s the ones inside that hurt the most; those are the ones that are never going to go away.

But those scars and that pain: it reminds me of who I am.  It gives me a greater compassion towards you: whoever you are.  Because no one goes through this life unscathed; we are all ‘abused’ from the very first stages of life until the last – from that first intake of harsh breath until the last one, where we rasp our dying rattling breath.  It’s all there: the abuse and the horrors – and everything.  As well as the beauty of our lives, should we succeed in doing that thing called “living”.  Extending our compassion and beauty beyond ourselves, into the great big old world awaiting out there.

“Why me?”  I found myself asking that question for several years until I discovered the truths of it.  Because in fact I did survive; and by giving into those emotions the abusers instilled in me, I am giving them power over me.  And I’m working on that still; unthreading those threads of life.

“Why me?”  I reckon, in a sense, it not only made me who I am: it caused me to look inwards, examining myself – every single motive – until I understood.

It wasn’t about me: it was about doing the greater good: helping others understand this:

Abuse doesn’t define  you; though it may have ‘made’ you. (MPD: it applies to us and my many souls).  You can ‘turn it to the good’ – or you can sink into despair.  Freedom of choice, baby – and it can be a bitch. (God’s words, LOL, NOT mine!)

So “why you?”.  Because you are – and can be – a better person about it – from it, and in helping others, you will find yourself – and be helping yourself.  It’s a good thing to do.  And you will see what I have see (we all have seen):

“Why YOU?”

Because, we scream: “Its’ Made You a Better Person!”  (Despite what your thinking now.)

*This is NOT to say ‘oh child abuse is good’ or ‘oh, I should teach my child in this way’ – because that’s wrong, too.  And I damn sure ain’t saying what was done to you was right.  However, Survivors needing another survivors is a thing which is going to go on for a long time, I think, knowing human kind – but at least we got us.  Why you.  Because you’re there for me; just like I am for you.  Which, I reckon, is part of the reason it’s “you” – fellow survivors joining hands . . .

Why you.

Why not you.

A question to consider.

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About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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