Abuse Survivor: In Introspection in . . . Introspection

Abuse survivors are great.

When it comes to “knowing one’s self”, I think there’s a huge difference between survivors, and so-called ‘normal people*’.  Normal people normally don’t have compelling reasons to examine their lives, emotions, motives, reasons for those emotions and motives; right and wrong, and a myriad of other ‘life issues’ as deeply as a survivor.

Survivors, however, are a breed apart – and sometimes even apart from themselves.  Survivors often find themselves plunging deep into themselves, sometimes like blind men without a clue (and perhaps unwilling or ashamed due to the social stigmas involved to ask for directions.  I’m a man, so I can say that! (grin).

Survivors learn things about themselves – and by doing so, learn things about humankind in general.  Whether or not we apply these things in an open and conscious nature – well, sometimes that doesn’t go to good.  While we’ve been given a good kick in the seat of our pants, we don’t always find ourselves stepping forward.

I don’t know where you are on your road to recovery.  Every survivor is on a slightly different road; each of us are at our own little ‘mile marker’ – some far ahead; some further behind.  I don’t even know where in the hell I am on this so-called ‘road to recovery’ – and have gotten to the point where I really don’t care.  We are who we are and while we are one, we are many**, LOL – and I’m fine with that.  It lets me ‘see’ things from all sorts and kinds of different angles (can you say “fun house mirror”?  Infinitely customizable, LOL!).

But I do know that after enough study, reading books and whatnot – and ‘journaling’ my fingies to the bones for years and years – I’ve found all that has come in handy when it comes to understanding ‘these people and things (they do).”  And by that I’m reckoning I’m meaning the all of humankind (and quite a few animals thrown in there too, BTW) – when I can say with what we called in the military “a high degree of confidence” (meaning ‘get ready to throw the book out the window in a skinny minute should the evidence prove wrong) – that all people (and some of the aforesaid animals) are seeking is a) Basic Survival (roof, home, food) – and Happiness.

Nothing else.

When you boil it and boil it and boil it down (and I’ve been simmering this pot now for some 30 odd years) – that’s what it came down to.

And I think survivors have some of the best chances of finding ‘true happiness’ within themselves – a lot more than their ‘fellow man’ (that is to say, a ‘non-survivor’ victim; that is: one who hasn’t had his or her own eyes opened yet).  And part of that is because I think true survivors – the ones who have healed completely and most totally (not saying I’m there quite yet!  A long way to go on this row of mine to hoe, as the saying goes, Jeffery says, LOL!).  now where was I…

Yeah – I’m thinking those ‘real survivors’ can look around them and accept – and explain – just about anything about what they see in human behavior.  They’ve spent most their lives studying it on their own, after all.  Trying to explain what happened to them; the effect on their own lives; the effects on the one’s around them.  Trying to ‘see’ into their own lives, as well as the lives of those around them, trying to understand those things, those very human-like motives which led to them being so terribly abused (and in my case, a bit fractured in the skull – something I’m getting ‘all righter’ with all of the time (now thinking of Peter Seller’s boss in “The Pink Panther” – “Getting better every day in every way” – good thing to be, LOL – you should try some on yourself.  Pink looks good on you.

Anyway – sorry for the long ramble, but what I was gonna say was:

Survivors – some of the best friends survivors can have – with their insights and their feelings, they can support the ones around them – and all along growing stronger every day (even if we do have our weak ones, LOL!).  And in my opinion, they’re the ones who know more about themselves than anyone else ever can – and in doing so, understand more about others than those others can know about their ownselves.


And sometimes that road can lead to happiness.

*”normal people” – okay, is there really such a thing out there?  I dunno, though people keep saying so.  What IS a normal person, LMAO!
** Okay, so I’m a little bit MPD***.  At least I’m never gonna get lonely, am I?
***MPD: okay, I’m showing a little bit of my own OCD**** side, here, which is a fine thing.  It’s allowing me to pay attention to details.
****Come on now.  Why don’t you just ‘Google‘ the thing right here?


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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