A Dream Needs Explained. Can YOU Help?

Background:  Our mother was a witch, but not a normal one.  She wasn’t into all that ritual and stuff – more of a pure spiritualist in a way – but had us playing “Voodoo Dolls” as well.  (remembering a ride home from Christian church with extremely Christian dad – and her turning and saying “When we get home I want you boys to practice on your Voodoo Dolls.”

As far as we know, she was never a member of a group or cult.  But she has been ‘dabbling’ on and off in her latter days with ‘groups’; most of them benign.

Here’s the thing: we kept having this dream from about age 5 or 6 until we were age of 10.  Except for 9 – that’s when we moved somewhere (out of the ‘hood) – to NC.  Army thing.  That year there were no dreams.  When we left the hood (age 10 or 11 – our birthday being 911, just another coincidence in our lives :/) – there were no dreams.  Not of this thing.  Only in the ‘hood: a typical poor Southern neighborhood; living in the sticks.  I will relate these things as accurately as possible.  Since this is a reoccurring dream, it is an easy one, however our emotions – and knowledge of what is coming – change from dream to dream

1st Dream:
We are in a hallway.  To ‘me’ it looks about … 30 feet long; probably more like 25, maybe even shorter.  After all, we are a child, and everything looks big.

The hallway is painted white.  The floor is white, but we are not sure if in this first one if we saw the lines or not.  At the end of a hallway is a window; it is a double hung, slightly rectangular (taller than it is wide) – and has wood framed panes.  Reminds us very much of the windows of some old WWII barracks we have seen many times (army brat and things).

It is bright in the hallway; but not so much that it hurts our eyes.  There is a bright light beyond the window; perhaps the sun or something; but it is a very white light.  This may be due to the paint job.  We are not sure about the ceiling.  We have the ‘impression’ there are doors lining the hallway (child inside closing eyes and counting…maybe eight. Four on each side.)

First time we had the dream, we are being told to walk down the hall; maybe there is somebody behind us giving us a firm and guiding ‘push’ down the hallway; maybe not.  This is the first time.

We go down hallway – just a little ways – and we fall down trapdoor.  It is on the right (this time).  It will be changing later.  We never know where the trapdoor is going to be.  It’s always changing.

We slide down something.  I have the impression of a short, U-shaped (half-circle) raw (gray) metal chute, riveted together in some places.  This is in the late 60’s; we have never seen anything like this until we were an adult being and had seen a water park and it’s slides.  It’s a lot like those; only metal, and not nearly as big – neither around nor long.

We arrive at the end of the slide.  People in black cloaks or things (something with pointed caps; all one color, one piece even) take us up and put us on an alter or a table thing.  We don’t know what it is; not this first time.  They begin placing food on my chest and all around; some goes on my belly, and even my groin.  I am only 6 years old.

I don’t know anything; they are all around me.  This place is like a dark cavern; we aren’t knowing what it is; there is like mossy things hanging around.  We aren’t terrified; though we are growing kinda nervous; perhaps this is just the “NOW” reaction to reviewing this kind of dream; yes, we are thinking it is; a feeling of deep anxiety; go on Mikie my friend.

We are in a dream I am thinking; this is but a dream.  Bad things have happened here; or they still are.

We are afraid.

Cripes, that’s US, now afraid; emotions bleeding over; damn typos and stuff, LO nervous L’ing. <– we are using italics to indicate the “right now”

Okay, moving on with this thing.

Mikie isn’t really afraid; not this first time.  That is going to come later.  He is just interested; curious about this thing – kinda calm – in a ‘dreamy state’ within his dream.  (Or was it a dream?  This is something we are asking; which is why we ask those who have suffered cult abuse to take a look at this thing; see what opinions there are; if they recognize any settings or rituals in this thing.)

The witches start ‘eating off him’.  Yes, we have ALWAYS thought of them as witches.  Always and forever this thing.  In Mikie’s mind they are eating him – or intending to.  They are messing around in his groin.  We don’t know what is happening there; some of it feels good.  There are pains on our legs.  We think we are being eaten.  This goes on for some time.  This place is dark and gloomy.

2nd dream: same thing.  Only this time Mikie does not like it; he is a bit more reluctant about stepping down the hallway; trap door, everything happens just the same.

3rd dream: now Mikie is definitely growing scared of this thing (and PLEASE, poor folks, remember: this is something about a DID being: WE get to ‘share’ in his fear and things; even some ‘body memory’.  Good thing we are a tough thing; this being; some of this is ‘terrifying’ to us – though we know it is NOT to you; it is just somebody reading this thing; we have done it too.)

4th Dream: Now Mike is definitely looking for those trap doors.  He is looking for lines in the floor.  These are square trap doors with steel plates; they fall open; letting you in on that chute thing.  Here and there we can see the lines; they are like close fitting tiles, spaced along the floor – but so close fitting you can barely see the edges.  We are tiptoing through the hall (towards the window, as always) – and oops!  Slips: wrong one, slips down, dream begins again (only it was all a bit of dream – or isn’t it?  We feel our suspicions growing stronger.)

5th, 6th, 7th dream et all:  We have grown very scared of being put in the hallway.  No one pushes us now?  We have to ‘go on’, we know we have NO choice in this, we KNOW what’s going to happen; we are going to end up hitting one of those ‘hidden’ (and yet not so hidden we can’t always see them – but we always end up hitting one – the others are ‘tricksy’ things; made to deceive us perhaps?  We are not knowing.)  When we ‘hit the pit’ or this mysterious cavern; we FIGHT; but it is not mattering; we have some dim ass memory of a needle going in; perhaps into our leg; calming us down.

We are thinking it’s BS; meaning just that: just a dream.  But why 7 or so more times?  We are wondering. Why did we visualize what we did?  Our mom wore no clothing like that; nobody we’re knowing did.  Perhaps some leftovers from Halloween?  It seems that Halloween was much later; a Halloween party (a kewl one) in which our mom actually dressed us as a witch.  (Very good party, by the way; the entire neighborhood came!  We had “The Legend of Sleepy Hallow” playing on the 45 over and over, listening about Ichabod Crane.  Must’ve been about 6 years old.  Maybe this started triggering the dream?  We are not knowing, and trying NOT to suspect anything; suspending judgement until more information comes in.

Just because you were abused doesn’t mean you should see abuse in everything, we are thinking; we don’t trust ‘recovered memories’ and stuff – not too much.  Too much mind tampering going on for that sort of thing (and why are we thinking that went on?  That wasn’t until we were a teenager sort of thing.  Strange discoveries with no answers – and no end in sight.)

If you have a thought on this; feel free to be commenting.  Bear in mind that about ‘seeing abuse where there is none’ while refreshing in your mind the memories you have seen – and we have seen – that may be matcing; especially those cultish things.

We’ve just grown curious about this thing – and why the terror it brings?

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About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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4 Responses to A Dream Needs Explained. Can YOU Help?

  1. Jeff, only you can decide if it was a dream or if it is something that really happened to you that you are remembering through a dream. I took a dream class several years ago but I can’t even begin to tell you what this dream means.

    Up until I was about 9 or 10, I used to have a frequent dream about a talking tiger who would walk around my grandmother’s house that I was alone inside of. He would go from door to window to door looking for a way to get into the house. I would follow him around inside the house to make sure he couldn’t get in. I was terrified each time I had that dream. The tiger would talk to me and tell me that he was going to eat me if he could find a way to get into the house. Around age 9 or so the dream stopped by I never forgot it. I had that dream over and over again as a child. I don’t remember how young I was when the dream started. My grandmother lived in that particular house when I was 7.

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    • jeffssong says:

      Good. This tells us something: that a child has a dream. The dream is somewhat traumatic in some way. Therefore, subconscious mind remembering, replays that dream. In our experience replays (conscious and subconscious) are a way of looking for an “out” or “way to survive” this “experience”. Kind of our same view on the theory of “life flashing before one’s eyes” when you are laying there dying. (Been there done that one too, hard one, that. But easy towards the end as you gain acceptance.)

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  2. I had a recurring nightmare as a child too. I do not know when it started but I know I had the last one in my late 20s. I am always standing on a tower. Mainly stone or metal. It either tumbles down or falls to one side mostly the right side when I am on top of it and I fall and fall and fall and am scared to death but I never hit the ground.
    Well in my opinion (but that is just what I figured out for myself reading books about dreams and following my intuition) dreams do try to make sense what we experience but as the subconscious has a specific symbolic language it is hard to understand. And everyone of us has his or her own specific language. It helps me to look up dream symbol explanations and then make up my own mind. I hardly ever dream of what really happened. It is always my inner part making sense.
    Some ideas on the symbols:
    Window: To see a window in your dream, signifies bright hopes, vast possibilities and insight. If the window of a house is dark, then it indicates a loss to your perception or vitality. ~ To see shut windows in your dream, signify desertion and abandonment.
    Trapdoor: To find or see a trapdoor in your dream represents unexpected opportunities that will come your way. Don’t be afraid to explore those opportunities. Alternatively, a trapdoor symbolizes discovery of something that you have repressed or stored in the unconscious.
    cellar: To dream that you are in a cellar represents a part of your subconscious mind where you have kept your fears and problems hidden.
    To dream that you are going down the cellar signifies that you are digging deep into your own past and facing your fears.
    hallway: To see a hallway in your dream symbolizes self exploration. It is the beginning of the path that you are taking in life. You are going through a transitional phase and journeying into the unknown. It also signals spiritual enlightenment, emotional growth physical prowess, new opportunities and mental passages in your life
    Hood: To see a hood in your dream signifies that you are hiding and cowering from a person or situation. You or someone may be deceitful about something. Consider also the saying, “having the hood pulled over your eyes”. I took those from http://dreammoods.com
    Well I guess all these explanations are meant for adults so I do not know how far they help for a child’s dream.
    But as Patricia said: only you can decide if your dream is about a “real” experience in your life or if it is “making” sense. It is very kind of you to share it with us. Thanks!

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  3. jeffssong says:

    Hmm. So … we need to take a look at the FEELINGS in this dream –
    Yes, the window is a goal, a “way out” towards something ‘better’ in some way (we can feel that thing in the dream).
    The hallway represents a challenge? As stated: a course, a path. But a challenge as well. To go ahead despite the dangers (unknown) that lay ahead?
    The trapdoors have always represented ‘pitfalls’ to me into something dark and dangerous and somewhat scary sometimes . . . the slide? (why a slide?) – slipping uncontrollably? Unable to control your descent and where you are going (we got that impression on a certain circular slide sometimes – come to think of it: just remembering: at a park there was this slide – an enclosed tube that went around and around . .. (smile) … good. Remembering. “Candyland” park it was – right on the S. side of Augusta. Off of Hwy 56 . . . gonna have to go there and check it out sometime. I think it is still standing – was last I saw, some years ago – gee! LOL, good memories in there, from that ‘land’.)
    Witches and ‘torture’. And why the sexual thing? There was always some kind of sexual connotation to that ‘being laid out on a table’ and them “messing around ‘down there’.” Always multiple hooded figures, and one of them was my mom . . . there WAS that – one of them was my mom . . . never knowing which one and they were ALL witches sometime (o’tay, zoning right now – will have to come work on this . . . incidents)
    Until later
    ya’ll have fun now ya hear?
    Jeffery is going on . . . .
    stage is empty 🙂

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