Ending Child Abuse: Changing Social Perceptions

First: Credentials.  Everyone wants credentials. I really don’t care.  They are boring to me.  Child abuse is not.  But some folks don’t ‘buy’ anything unless they think the person saying them has ‘credentials’ – never mind the logic or if they are making sense.  Plus this applies to this ‘story’.  The ‘story’ of how this game is run.

We helped start/run a social campaign; 2/1/2008, when an auction company made some policy changes which (in our opinion) adversely affected sellers and cut their profit margins.  Many low income sellers, some battling poverty and struggling to feed their kids, depended upon that income to survive. So we helped them. We ended our participation on or about 5/14/2009. When we quit I heard we had something like 30,000 followers (army, so to speak) between a handful of ‘leaders.  I didn’t care.  It was an experiment in seeing what could be done. We quit because:
A) we knew we had lost going in, this was just a social experiment for us (playtime), and
B) we just wanted to see what we could do, and
C) we were mad.  They were hurting people – and they were hurting us. In our opinion.

If you wish; we can send you supporting data.

Now; ending social child abuse. I do not mean to be depressing; but that’s going to take a long time.  Personally I guess about two or three hundred years.  Maybe less; much less.  I hope much less – a lot less.  It depends upon the world.  It depends on people.  It depends on free choice.  And it depends on social pressure, to put it quite bluntly.

Here’s a game we can play.

Remember what 9/11 did to us all and every society in the world?  A sudden tightening of social security systems?  This was because people paranoia systems went into effect (meaning media ‘panic’ to ‘panic public’ to demand exactly what the government put in place; with even more ‘threats’ being ‘brought to our attention’ as time goes on – which meant more public demands more protection – so the government gives it to them via increased surveillance systems and a police state: you are free to do what you want, as long as you live in the rules – what has become safe according to governmental officials; based (sometimes not) loosely on public demands.

This is called an exterior approach, using fear of incrimination / threats to self in order to keep the public in line. It can work: but very stiffly, and unnaturally to all of mankind. Not saying it is bad or good: it is something that just is. There are far-reaching effects, many of them in our opinion not good – but that is based upon the society I come from; not ‘theirs’, this possible and distant future. In their society no doubt my opinions would change some – in what nature, I can not know. It is impossible for one to know. You would have to be raised in that way; that society to come.  Society puts blinders on people; I have no blinders on.  Haven’t in many a long year.  I don’t think I was even born with them.  Maybe I was.  I don’t know.  We evolve.  So does society

One option is training people not to do this thing; to be loving and caring for one another. Again, there may be a few aberrations, but as time goes on, there will be less and less of them. This takes a much longer time; you are dealing with people in here. Their attitudes have to be changed, and the changes must come from within.

From our social studies (and in our humble opinion), it historically has taken about 300 years to do this sort of thing; sometimes less. Social change is accelerating proportionally according to social communications; media outlets and things which promote a new “normal”. Public speaking (survivors speaking out and things), and a beginning effort to end this ‘social stigma’ kind of thing (both regarding sexual abuse and the social stigma of being mentally insane; which, by definition, we are. Am I seeming insane?

But here’s the point.: Don’t give up now! Sure it might take 300 years. But then again – it might only take 100 or so. You see, here’s the thing:

It has to start now. It has to start sometime. Only by people like you and me working on it – laying the foundations for the future ahead – can this work be done.

Abuse will go down – but ONLY by people you STARTING this thing. Sure, it is a slow process to change a social direction. Some manage much in a lifetime (thinking Hitler, Ghandi and Jesus.) But it will take time. Look at yourself as being a mason; laying that foundation for things to come. We may not see the end success; we have a lot of grief to come in our lifetimes, you and I and other folks along the way (including some children, sad to say) – but at least you and I and other people can know: we died along the way, making a difference to someone. And that’s important to you in your endtimes; we know this. We have faced death up personal and close (without actually dying) – and know the things that go through a dying man’s mind. Been there, done that, sad to say (but there is a peace at the end; we can’t explain that one; it requires a certain amount of acceptance, and it happens to you when this comes.) Again; been there and done that, really and most truly (and yet we feel sad, knowing this thing to come; having felt it again and again. Maybe next time will not be so bad; we have raised our children to life and loves in their own time; we have achieved some goals (not many, minor and petty). But this child abuse thing – its a thing for all time to come, if we can get others to hear and share our stories – and changing their mind along the way.

And here’s the thing:

Why did people jump on my first experiment and social society changes are not – especially when we have been saying the same thing for so long?  I started ‘this’ battle over 15 years ago; some have been going on for longer.   Why? Why is child abuse still going on? There were a lot of people on that auction thing; it was just a small thing. But this thing – it is big. It is world recognized. People are on the cusp of becoming …. a separate thing. A sort of thing that can become good in time. It’s just gonna take a lot of work and time.

But here’s the thing. We were able to get people mobilized quickly because they perceived a threat to their incomes and livelihoods. A personal threat. When a person fears a personal threat, they are going to do something (fight, hide, or something). This is what we relied on and it worked.

So get people convinced child abuse is a threat to their survival – whether to their livelihood, their own children – whatever – it doesn’t matter. 9/11 was an act of terrorism. Isn’t child abuse a type of terrorism, lurking just around the corner, maybe even in your neighbor’s house? Make them see the potential of a threat laying just around the corner sometime. Whether that threat appears or not doesn’t even matter – you wanna make them think it’s there. Getting the picture on that one?

And in modern society its true. Child abuse is dangerous. Not only to the abuser (he might get caught) but to children and society as well. We need to make the individual feel threatened by the abuse. We need to increase that awareness of ours and child abusers. it doesn’t matter if we can actually catch them; what matters is that they think we can – whether that be through hook, crook, or lies. You getting the picture? Even our own government (and that of other nations) do this sort of thing – internally, and to each other. (Remember our government informing our allies that “terrorism is everywhere” and that they need to get in on helping us “end this sort of thing”? You see there? How that works? Make everyone in the world start believing this is a threat to their security in some way?

And here’s the ticket to ride: Child abusers do something to their victims; twisting them inside. You got your cutters, sure (and hospital bills and social burdens to accept them); you got your suicides (how much does that cost in terms of dollars and cents? We recently lost someone who was a brilliant mind – all because he had been abused, and it ‘ruined’ him. Here’s the link I’ll share with you: read on and find out for yourself, and remember while you are reading: this man could have done so much more for modern society if he’d been allowed to go on – by his own self. Unfortunately, it killed him.

Link: Bill’s Suicide. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/07/bill-zeller-dead-princeto_n_805689.html

Now, this is cold as hell, but be thinking this: how much “money” was lost in this thing; how many companies won’t have a product based on him; how much did they lose; how many students are going to fail because of him …. you must look at everything, find every drawback to his death in terms of social needs and wants – and then point out that his suicide cost them $$$ and sense and jeez – there’s a lot of stuff to see; maybe you’ll want us to ‘probe and condense’ information in the end if you decide to take this route on things rather than just posting horror stories (trust me – its been done time and time again on the internet; you aren’t the only one – it is a GOOD thing; gives survivors a place to place their posts and have their voices heard – but it is a SLOW effect; might take a thousand years). We cannot see into the future; society is evolution unto itself (we are entering the upper part of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs) – in terms of our own society.  Maslow’s laws have some truth in them which appear to be real: we have seen this in ourselves and our own life: it is psychologically proven with PTSD victims; child abuse victims, and more: strange how many don’t “come out” until they are entering their 50’s and things – when their own physical survival is ‘ensured’.

Put yourself in a merchant’s mind – a profit mind – or a greedy one. “I can’t pay my bill or buy your thing because all my money went to therapy … for child abuse … for me or my own child.”

And imagine the ‘national debt’ of a nation submerged in an epidemic of child abuse: the staggering costs to mind and dollar. Of the two – the last one stings folks the most. That’s the one they can ‘feel’ – it is threatening to their survival. Whether through higher taxes or increased burden of social support – people don’t like doing that thing. It helps to change their ‘perception’ of child abuse from a distant thing to a personal threat. And it’s personal threats that get action – not abstract ideas or heartfelt emotion. You gotta get ’em where it hurts. In the animal mind.

But the key at the very beginning is to start ‘pointing out’ the threats to mankind – and you must back it with statistical data (convincing) – not hard. How many victims go on to become abusers themselves? I know I could have been.  I’m sure I’m not the only one.  It cost society – every abused child does, and every abuser does.  This needs to be pointed out in ways people understand as a threat to themselves or their own children.  And it is.

We’ve read stories of children abusing children.  I have stories about that, too.  You’ve heard the term ‘chains of child abuse’ . Well, it is a double/triple meaning kind of thing: it binds the child into himself, and the child is a link to the next one and so on – and these ‘chains of abuse’ weave themselves into and around our own society. Something to think about in terms of violence and crime (and therefore returning to the subject at hand: determining ‘threats’ to our own society; and how to ‘apply’ those threats to mankind; thinking in terms of the individual person, and making them feel personally threatened in some way (That thing ‘over the horizon’ kinda thing; thinking of the Cold War this time, with Russian nuclear missiles aimed at us – and us at them. Any reason people were scrambling to build shelters (and some more missiles) at that time? LOL, think about it: A=B=C, and then C can = A; only this time we are thinking in terms of child abuse. (don’t worry if that does not make sense to you; it is unimportant; just us thinking.)

Well, I hope that’s enough to get you thinking about how to create you ‘another weapon’ in our battle against child abuse. We can help some; but here’s the trick: there are many of you.  I am just one man.  One lemming swimming against the tide doesn’t change the tide.  Many lemmings don’t.  No – you have to change the moon. And if you think that is impossible – trust me.  Even landing on the moon – that little tiny object – moved the moon in it’s course.  Even if we can’t measure it – it did.  Every little step counts.  Every voice counts.  There is no ‘just one’ doing anything.  Not anymore.  I can only help and hope to guide – and hope others pick up the keys.

You want to get as many people as you can thinking about this approach: using child abuse as some kind of ‘hidden threat lurking in society; just waiting its chance to grab you around the throat and kill you” type of mentality. It doesn’t matter how you do it as long as you are honest: variety is the spice of success in any kind of war.  You want as many cannons (writers, bloggers, sites, all those kinds of things; including social media types of things) – firing off “this is a threat, this is a threat, this is a threat to everyone’s survival” to get people fearing for their survival – financial or otherwise – then they will do something.  Add this to your arsenal – and continue what you do.  It’s just another gun in our big fight.  We must continue to heal: tell our own stories and helping other survivors.  This is a human – and humane effort.  So heal – and be human, too.

I hope you can see this thing.

And that’s the way it works. It’s fine to play someone’s sympathies – but start playing with their minds. Use fear instead. Just one of our weapons of war. And this is a battle we’re fighting – not some game. A battle for a better world.

We do what we can.  I hope you will, too.  But you will have to ‘spread the word’. Use this if it makes sense to you.  It doesn’t matter where it comes from – we could care less if our name is on it – as long as it gets out – and done.  Put it in your own words.  I don’t care.  I just want to see it done – this ‘ending child abuse thing’.

I wish I could offer myself as a ‘clearing house for information’, but … I am but one voice in the crowd; I am an injured being as well. This is a huge task: just gathering, compiling, verifying statistics and information … (sighing, shaking my head.) I’m not strong enough to do it all. In an idea world you would have a team assembling statistics and information; getting the data in and verifying it – and ‘preparing’ it for public dissemination. There is a method to this thing; if asked, I will post it. Otherwise (shrug) – it’s up to you. It’s up to everybody.

Saving all mankind.

And as every survivor or friend of survivors knows – the journey begins with that first step – towards healing and a better and brighter world beyond.

It’s your choice. It always is – and has been.

Sincerely yours

Jeffery and Friends.


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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