Need vs. Want: Know Them

Knowing what you NEED versus what you WANT is a great start towards internal happiness.

You NEED transportation, but you WANT a new car.  (take a bus instead, or a friend.)
You NEED to eat, but you might WANT a big fat steak. (any food will do, though.)
You NEED love, but you WANT friends (trust me: love hurts. Especially when its with friends.  But once you start ‘loving yourself’ – you’ll find you NEED in here being met.)
You NEED social interaction, but you WANT family or friends (again: ever think about doing some volunteer activities?  That helps fill the NEED if you can’t get what you WANT.)
You NEED to be accepted, but you WANT (think) fancy clothes, a brand new car, and a fine white house will get you that. (It won’t. Look at Charlie Sheen.)  You NEED to accept yourself first – then a whole lot of this issue will just go away.
You NEED to care about YOURSELF first; you WANT others to care about you, though. (See that Social Acceptance thing again?)
You WANT to get somewhere quick . . . but which is more important?  Sometimes you NEED to ask yourself if you NEED to get there at all!
And if you NEED to get there – does the timing really matter?  What matters is that you try!
You NEED to TRY; you WANT to succeed.  (But at what? Is it truly something you need?)
You WANT to control, feeling this as a NEED.  But is there really any NEED for that one at all (asking yourself.).
You DON’T WANT others controlling you – but is that something you NEED? (self-control).
You NEED to have some boundaries; you NEED to define what they are.
But do you WANT so many boundaries that you are shutting everyone out?  I don’t think that’s something you NEED.  I think it’s something you WANT somewhere – hiding yourself and protecting yourself and trying to control all that’s going on.

Needs and Wants.  We all got ’em.  It’s a matter of defining them, and seeing what they really are – then acting accordingly; adjusting yourself accordingly, and becoming a better ‘adjusted’ person over all.  After all, that’s something we all NEED to do though we might not WANT to do it sometimes.

We all WANT more . . . but we NEED to count our own blessings! (Did you “lift yourself by your own bootstraps”, starting out with literally ‘zilch’? WE did – and WE congratulate YOU on surviving this . . . and learning to ‘move on’.)

We WANT to be Happy.  But we NEED to survive, first.  And sometimes that means surviving our own selves.

Now For the “Big THREE” (in order*):
You NEED to survive.  You WANT to thrive (for instance).
You NEED to survive.  You WANT to Self-Actualize (according to Maslow’s Hierachy of Needs)
We NEED to have some sort of faith or religion (To be happy); we WANT Transcendence.

*Realize: Not everything applies to everybody or all at the same time.  Some things must be done first; then others may follow.  Not all “rules” are rules; some are merely suggestions.  That’s for YOU to decided – what is important to you (NEED) and what is NOT (WANT).

It’s something we all “NEED” to do sometimes, LOL’ing!  And it’s something we WANT people doing.  All around the world. (Might help on ‘conservation of resources’ if people would stop confusing their ‘needs’ versus their ‘wants’ sometimes …. pollution and all that (I ‘need’ to get rid of this thing, I ‘want’ to throw it from the car ….)

(good luck with that.  It takes a long time.  But see that ‘need’ thing again.  It might just be something you find yourself ‘needing to do’ sometimes).

Good luck, salutation, and we NEED (no, want) to get other things done.
Hoped this helped you.
Jeff, Friends, et all.

PS: Feel free to post what YOU perceive and see as YOUR own “Needs And Wants” – and see if YOU can figure them out below (Needs VS. Wants and things.  We did (above) and do! – all the time!)

Your needs and wants?  Just post them below.  Perhaps someone will see them . . . and help you realize . . .  whatever! – towards your own personal sense of happiness inside.


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle ( ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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7 Responses to Need vs. Want: Know Them

  1. Kat & Co says:

    I NEED decent food, I WANT chocolate icecream and burgers
    I NEED to be strong, I WANT to give in
    I NEED hope, I WANT all the answers!
    I NEED to hoover, I WANT to go to sleep.
    I NEED help, I WANT to be better
    I NEED to survive, I WANT to die.
    I NEED to focus, I WANT to switch off.
    I NEED support, I WANT to be alone.

    hmmm. i see a pattern immergering (imerging)(who wanted to spell it like that?)(why am I bothering to check and correct?) yes i know im panicious (now i definately cant spell that one, and neither can anyone else)picky? perfectionist??


  2. jeffssong says:

    “i see a pattern immergering” (we understood: emerging on the “inside” of yourself).
    & don’t bother to ‘spell and ‘correct’ 😀 – you are telling the truth in things even if ‘someone’ inside doesn’t want you. WE, TOO, are letting the Freudian slips ride and slide . . . for often they are showing US and others (we think/hope) something … 🙂 as we see it is for you. 😀

    PS: we used to be a ‘perfectionist’ sometimes (always, actually; quite a pain-in-the-ass sorta thing, we’ve come to realize, looking behind (LOL! C the symbol? and going ‘ouch!’). But we learned to do better. It’s the “good enough” sort of thing that works for us; as in “we’re doing good enough” right now … “it works, so what?” type of thinking (ignoring society’s ‘moods’ on this thing: that we are “INSANE” and all – LOL’ing, it appears we are doing ‘better’ (or at least ‘happier’) than ‘they’ are (as a rule and in general) – and wondering: Who is really insane in here? (this world). ME? Or them?” (watching the downturned heads going by and all the ‘unhappy in themselves’ sort of people going on.)

    Just wondering … and softly and quietly laffing sometimes … wondering with love in our hearts and souls and minds


    • Kat & Co says:

      somehow you manage to make us smile, even when we’re feeling like we’ve just been hit by a ten-ton truck of emotional excrement. (Now thats definately Linda sneaking in there, little miss big words.)

      I hate name changes, its hard enough to keep track of us all without falsies for safety.

      I have such a head ache. and heart ache, i just cant love them all, or us, or me.

      keep being you, because you is best.


      • jeffssong says:

        LOL, we don’t try to “keep track” anymore: who will be will be will be kinda thing. Just love ’em as they come up.
        That truck: yeah, uck. Hate getting run over by those trucks. Happens sometimes. Ya just gotta pick yourself off the pavement (sometimes scraping those little bits left behind) – reassemble, pick yourself up … and move on.
        Unfortunately, its a “road” we’re moving on …. and we’re on foot and those excrement trucks have ten wheels. (dodge, flinch and duck?!!! LOL!) You’ll get better at it; I know despair is a really true thing: been there, done that, and at times just lay there in the road wanting another truck (a ten-tonner) to come rolling over me – finishing me off forever.
        Can you say “strawberry jam” on the road? Cuz’ we can. Hate it, know it, felt it, been there – still have some ‘parts’ there (oh, my lovely souls, poor beings . . . let me help you up there ….. getting up with a spatula and a scraper; and sometimes a scrub brush too. Which can hurt. Scrubby brushes have soft bristles; at least we WISH they always did…. oh well. 😦
        Head aches are common; we get them all the time. I was told they are because we are “processing” and “building new brain pathways” – and to just accept them as ‘part of DOING things” and part of the process…. which echoes the process which often hurts.

        And no, we’s ain’t the ‘best’. No one is. You are ALL wonderful In my opinions. All of you ‘out there.’
        It’s just a matter of catching on …. and catching up with the wonder that is YOU … inside and out you see.
        Good luck, good therapy, and be as good to yourself as you can be (which we know ain’t so good sometimes … ‘but it hurts’ we know … but we said …. (see all of the above and below … and all around … and then look into yourself, hon. Yes there’s pain – but it can become better.)
        If we did it (screwed up as we are) … we feel confident that you can, too. In time. So give yourself that at least: some time to get better … inside and out.


  3. Kat & Co says:

    you know what, we absolutely love you guys! you’re constantly making us smile.
    i just wish I had better answers, replies etc. I feel such a useless friend.

    Yaya, i know, here comes the depression talk. fecked up and ran out of tablets.

    anyway….failing at finding better words.. love you all (safely of course!)


  4. jeffssong says:

    🙂 always glad to hand out the smiles cuz’ it makes us have one of our own. And I don’t know what a ‘useless friend’ is. Any friend is a good friend, eh? (wink!)

    (sigh) good ol’ meds. Glad we got off ’em – but gotta take the painkillers as well. Percocet 3 times a day; more if we’re not careful (LOL’ing!). Oh, and that wonderful speed they gave us for when the percocet makes us tired. Oh well. All that and can’t seem to get a darned thing done.

    🙂 glad to see you sound like you’re doing a wee bit isty better. Always good to know. An upswing …. and t-h-r-o-u-g-h Ye’ Ol’ Pit o’ Despair . . . and back on the other side. LOL’ing … and look. Clear blue sky. Only to know …..(now where ARE those meds… scrambling around…knowing there always seems to be another ‘backswing’). LOL! Be calling your doctor soon.

    Until then; glass of wine; glass of beer – or just me and my kool-aid standing near!
    (cheers! – and bottoms UP my friend!) (wink! if you can see all the symbolism in all that my friend – you are much smarter than I, LOL!)


  5. Kat & Co says:

    i probably could if i wasnt so tired, i have so gotta get those meds.


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