Men Aren’t Supposed To Have Emotional Needs

“Men aren’t supposed to have emotional needs.”  I see that every day – from my wife’s own behaviors to the behavior of societies in general.

Men aren’t supposed to feel – or if they feel, it’s only what society lets them: rage and hate and love for their families (though that love is supposed to be hidden, too.)  Sure, there are Hollywood movies depicting ‘sensitive men’ – but as a rule, those aren’t in the general majority.

“I get uncomfortable seeing a man cry,” I’ve heard women say.  “I want my man sensitive – but not to cry.”

What they mean is not to cry for them (meaning the men for their own souls) – but it’s okay to cry for another – meaning a lost child or friend.  Nothing else.  And never for one another.

My wife comes in….

never mind the kiss.  There isn’t one.  Not until I kiss her.

It’s always about her.

How come women (and some men) are never wrong?  It must be a painful type of lifestyle to never do no wrong.  Or at least struggling not to admit this thing.

I thought we were all human; that everyone did some wrong sometime or another.  Whudda know; again I’m mistaken.  I’m the only one doing some ‘wrong’.

Men are supposed to be tough and mean – mean to all that oppose them.  This is generally seen as a good thing – as long as they are doing it to protect themselves, or someone close to them.  And if it comes down to it – they are supposed to sacrifice themselves for the one’s ‘they love’ (if they love anyone at all).

Women?  Sacrifice nothing.  Tears are allowed; so are feelings.  They are only sacrificing their bodies somehow – when making ‘love’ to a man (as if that is some big favor: my hand can do that one.)  Never mind that the man might be making love to them – all they see is THIS thing: “I’m doing a favor for him.”

This is especially true among older married women (it seems).

Sure, this ‘perception of things’ is skewed.  I’m “skewed and SCREWED” – my name being the one of Matthew.  I’ve seen this kind of thing since I was ten years old; and my alters have seen it before:

It’s always about someone else; never about ourselves.  Because – it’s not about ME, either; or THEM, the others …..

It’s always about “men” and their desire to be “good” as defined by another (society in this way, perhaps) – the Macho image; the image of being strong ..

“I don’t want to see my man crying.  It makes me uncomfortable.”  How many times have I heard or read (or even said – since I’m not allowed to ‘feel’ this sort of thing) – that exact same phrase.

It’s no wonder I see this whole planet of humankind as something that needs to be gotten “rid of”.  I think the animals could do much better.  At least they are honest in feeling.

The Hypocritical Oath.  That’s something I think all mankind must have been swearing.  “I swear not to feel or show someone I have those kinds of feelings.” (meaning anything bad or sad or simply even not telling).

“I swear to treat any man who is showing these things as an emotional cripple.”  Thereby crippling him even more.  Tough going – and when the going gets tough – we’re supposed to get even tougher inside.  Never mind what you are feeling.  Never mind that your buddies are dead.  Never mind that your mind is raging inside; your heart tearing with grief.  Never mind that you have wants and needs; never mind what you are feeling.  This is man’s fate and the fate of mankind:

simply never feeling.

’nuff said.

Sorry if that hurt you gals: i know you aren’t the only “ones” – the whole of damned society is damned, in my opinion.

and I’m not going to be feeling a thing.

Sincerely and signed.

Matthew and friends. (yeah, I got some.  And he’s called the beastie friend of mine. Tough mood I”m in right now – and if you don’t like it … buck up, toughen up, and BE A MAN!  LO bitterly L’ing)

I hate women sometimes. – Matthew

(Just to be clear here: I am letting Matthew get his feelings out.  If you have a problem with that …. well, I guess you kinda fit his description of feelings up there, don’t you?  He nods his head, saying yes.  And yeah, it’s been a difficult day.) – M3


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle ( ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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2 Responses to Men Aren’t Supposed To Have Emotional Needs

  1. theothers55 says:

    I’m sorry you are feeling so bad. Men are allowed to have emotional needs. I think a man that cries shows great strength in allowing those feelings out. Having needs and being weak are two very different things!


  2. Kat & Co says:

    bless you.

    Well done for getting your feeligns out, better than I can!

    we’re in hell right now *shrugs* I could be bitter, but i dont do bitter.
    he left us. got up and walked out. the husband, or at least that what the abusive ass called himself/calls himself.
    and he wants US to say no, go away forever, because he hasnt got the balls. *bitter loling*


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