Just The Facts, Ma’am

Just the facts.

On June 23rd we arrived in Puerto Rico to enjoy the island and save our brother-in-law’s marriage.

By June 25th we were ‘trapped’ in an iron cage by our friend.

By June 28th we’d learned enough Spanish to awe and amaze our brother-in-law, who admitted that he was involved in a CIA program.

He treated us great – and treated us horribly.

He abused us in many ways.

He had us locked up in his ‘iron cage’.

He starved us, feeding us only rotten putrid fruit crawling with maggots and worms.

We refused to eat anything.

He told us that not only was he an MKULTRA child and trainer, and that he had loved us for a long long time – but that we were and MKULTRA child as well.

He told us about his ‘friends’ – and there were many of them – living all around. Across the street and around the corner – Satanists everywhere. Or so it seemed.

After awhile, we began to believe him. After all, he’d grown up here; returned here every summer to be with his cultist ‘friends’.

By July 1st we had ‘been killed’ (died emotionally, mentally, etc – to include the dissolution of “I” and “we” and the loss of … everything we are) – eight times.

We are cured of shame, hurts, pain, and anger towards childhood issues.

We were “ONE” – and yet still many.  Forgiveness was a word we could not understand (after all, you were forgiven before you were ever born). It was a strange and wonderful happening.

But we were still trapped by this man.

So we fled.

Before we fled, we cursed our brother-in-law, telling him that we were going to put him in hell.

A few hours later, his mother (happy and joyful) – fell dead in his arms.

And he blamed us.

He said he was going to kill us for cursing him and making his mother die. He stated he was coming back HERE (to his home, about fifteen or twenty miles away from us) – to kill us and our family.

We were pursued by thieves and murderers. We ran for three days, armed with nothing but a little bitty pocket knife and our wits.

We discovered how strong Mikie (our inner eight year old) really is – hauling us across the countryside while Matthew watched out for him, and The Soldier in us took care of business.

We were very good at what we were doing.

We hid in bushes in the middle of town while gunshots went off nearby.

We avoided being ‘tagged’.

We narrowly avoided getting killed.

And our feet bled.

They bled so much that our soles gummed themselves to the soles of our shoes. And we’d rip them from our feet at night and walk in the cool, cool grass, giving relief to our aching blisters.

And then we’d do it again.

We walked for about three days. The man had taken our cellphone, our pain killers, our meds. We were surviving on water and wild grass seed. Our feet hurt more and more.

On the third day we gave up. We stopped at a store and finally – finally! – someone would make a call for us. (Nobody else would; not even the English speaking Puerto Ricans. There were no good Samartans to be found.)

So “They” came and got us.

Listening with our much improved Spanish, we overheard our brother-in-law telling his friend (Manuel) that “we” (meaning me and my and ours) – were to become “the next General in the war” and how we were going to be an AntiChrist of some kind.

We played along with our friend.

They were very polite to me after that came (our discovering of our own ‘tricksty’ ways) – and we fooled them.

We escaped on the very next day.

We came home.

We were a happy man.

Three days later we decided we’d been abused. We’d lost about thirtyfive pounds (all in about eleven days!).

The cops would not help us.

The FBI would not help us. (They said “go see the CIA”.)

The National Security Agency, while admitting they knew about this “MKULTRA” kind of problem, said they would not help us, and that we should join our local VFW club.

No one would help us at all, despite the video and pictures we’d taken.

We’ve finally come to the conclusion that no one give a damn about a man when he’s been abused. No one can. No one will.

It sucks being a man.

If we’d been a woman they’d have rushed us off from the airport and given us the medical treatment that we’d needed.

Our doctor wouldn’t have turned us in.

We wouldn’t have been ‘shuffled’ off to the loony bin (where, it was admitted by seven psychologists and psychiatrists – a mixture of them – that we did not belong.)

A doctor asked: “Are you happy?”.
We said “Yes.”
The doctor asked “Do you feel Joy?”.
We said “Yes, occasionally.”
The doctor got upset with us and said: “YOU need COMMITTED!”
Then we told him that we forgave him for that.
This made him extremely mad.
He sentenced us to ‘prison’; that is, an involuntary commitment to the loony bin.

We spent about ten days there.
They could find nothing wrong with us – indeed, they found us helpful and kind, teaching both their staff and patients in how to become better and more well adjusted human beings.
One doctor said:
“I don’t mind reading spy novels and stuff . . . but YOU! – You scare the shit outta me.”  (He admitted knowing about ‘us MKULTRA’ kinds of children.)
He said we were “extremely interesting” – and for that fact alone sentenced us to another five days of confinement – admitting while he did so (because we asked) – that he had no right to continue in keeping us locked up from the rest of mankind.

It became rapidly apparent that we’d been poisoned and drugged by this man.

We’d also lost so much weight . . . but the hospitals are slow, and we lost even more before we began to gain again.

We need a lawyer.

No one will help.

We want to have this guy locked up for abusing us.

No one seems to care.

Even the local cops (and the FBI, my friends) – won’t touch this one with a nine foot pole.

What’s an abused man to do.

Nothing, apparently.

Society doesn’t give a damn about us men.

And the women?

Only about women and kids, it seems.

It really kind of sucks, but . . .

We’re into forgiving everyone.



and being kind.

And once again, just like in Puerto Rico, we find.

We must do it all.

Over and over again.

Because people?

They are NOT your friends.

They just give a damn about themselves and nothing else.

But that’s okay with us. We know you can’t help what you are. We’d like to … but no one’s listening.

And of those who listen – well, they just get kind of confused.

Because that can’t understand.





Jeffery & Friends.

Over and past the abuse . . . beyond getting mad . . . we are loving and forgiving . . .
and people make us rather sad.

(anyone know a good lawyer, BTW? Thought you didn’t. Oh well. Time to move on.
If you can.)

I know we will.


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
This entry was posted in Alters, Anger, child abuse survivor, DID, DID Advantages, Education, Family, Happiness, JefferyW, Life, mental health, MKULTRA, politics, Psychiatry, Psychology, social stigma, survivor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Just The Facts, Ma’am

  1. Fix says:

    I miss you & I worry about you; email me please.



    • jeffssong says:

      Hey, Felix!

      We’ve sent a couple emails your way – you should have gotten one last week and the week before. Hoping you see this comment at least!!! Let me know – if you’re not getting our emails. How’s Luki doing? We’ve missed talking to you – but we’ve had a busy life schedule here lately – lots of work to do (catch up and pre-fall yard, plus some repairs and maintenance – comes with having an acre wooded lot, LOL!

      Anyway – check your spam folder, should be from ‘cruzzer101’ – Subject should have from “Jeff” & crew …
      Hope to hear from you soon.


  2. Jeffrey…

    Your life reads like such fiction… I have to say I was enthralled from start to finish. I think there are several things I have to google to fully understand, but I am sorry for your hardship.. I am amazed at your strength.. and I stand with you in your forgiveness!

    NBL I will read what’s happened since.


    • jeffssong says:

      I tell ya, Calo – it certainly blindsided me and us like . . . totally. An amazing story; we haven’t written as much as we’ve said, and we haven’t said all that there is to know – so much of it was crazy, out of this world – and yet I had the time of my life – we ALL did, and in so many ways – the very *BEST* of times and some of the worst of times I’ve (or we’ve!) ever had in all the times of our lives … it was wonderful and horrible, both at the same time. A very good friend and “I” have discussed this thing; he’s much more intelligent than I, somewhat grounded, served with him in the Marine Corps (for 6 yrs, no less) – plus he’s got a psychology degree, and he told me:

      “I had to debate with myself for about 30 minutes after I heard (through the family & friends grapevine – you know how those go!) – whether or not you were crazy. My good friend “M”? Hard to believe …. couldn’t believe it …. but this story! It’s so wild and crazy! But he’s my friend …. I’ve known him a long time . …. he couldn’t be crazy . . . so what’s going on???”

      And then he came over to see me and we discussed this thing.
      We both agreed: there was something wild going on.
      There were entirely too many ‘coincidences’ for something not to be happening.
      We’d agreed that I was probably fed some kind of psychotropic drug. Having done acid together in our youth, we both agreed I’d followed the rules and done the things you normally would do to ensure what you were seeing was not a hallucination (looking and noting details carefully, then looking away, doing something else for awhile – a few seconds, certainly, though in some cases I waited even minutes for changes to occur) – and then looking back and seeing if it had a) gone/disappeared (1st clue it’s a hallucination), or b) changed in any way (a more subtle clue). As you can tell (LO dry L’ing) – we’ve had some experience with drugs in our lifetime.

      And in the end we both agreed:
      Something wild went on. We were undoubtedly ‘kidnapped’ by a cult, and at the very least drugged and severely emotionally / mentally abused. Our PR “friend” (and we still love him and forgive him, BTW, though we are stern with him and hope he is enjoying the hell he is going through … emotional hell, that is, as well as trouble with his finances, land, house …. we won’t lay claim to all this, but it sure is funny that it happened this way after we cursed him when we felt we were with God … and connected to God in some way …. though of course I don’t go around telling folks things like that… just strange that all this has happened to him since I cursed him (wishing him to hell and TELLING him I was going to PUT him through Hell before I was done) …. and then his otherwise fairly healthy mom falling over dead a few hours later … right before his eyes, almost in his arms, so to speak (and, he said as he was raging at me and threatening to kill me and mine and our and us) – happy and smiling. . . . go figure.

      My momma said that kinda magic can be done every once and awhile. If you get mad enough. If you ‘condemn’ someone to hell ….
      But who’s gonna believe that sort of thing? I’m certainly not gonna – I know better. I just call it “luck and coincidence”

      After all . . . on the surface it appears to be just that . . .
      and one hell of an adventure to boot!

      (smiling now – and wishing the world NBL myself right now, dude! Hanging on in there!)


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