As promised, abuse photos.
This photo shows what we looked like a week after we got home … we’d recovered about ten pounds of the thirty pounds we’d lost after being starved in Puerto Rico by this “MKULTRA” trainer/handler dude (who, BTW, WAS a Lt.Col. in Army Intelligence (South America) and had/has connections with the CIA. It’s no big secret – he married into the family 20 years ago and its long been known he has these connections as he frequently had to “take off” to South America when he was in the Army and would be gone for months on missions . . . and he claims he still is ‘engaged’ in completing secret missions.
The following are pictures I took 3 days after I got home when I began to remove the medical dressings I had applied. The silver looking stuff is a (very expensive!) silver iodide ‘sheet’ often used in a burn ward to stave off infections. I am lucky I had some as our doctor gave us NO CARE OR TREATMENT for these injuries when I arrived at his office – instead he had me locked up for undergoing such a strange adventure and for having been abuse. Go figure. IF YOU ARE A MAN AND HAVE BEEN ABUSED AND GO AND TELL SOMEONE ABOUT IT – ESPECIALLY A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL – EXPECT TO BE ABUSED FOR HAVING BEEN ABUSED! I’m mad and sick as hell about it … really sick (at heart).
And Remember: This is after we had walked SO long in our cheap Walmart slip-on loafers that OUR FEET HAD LITERALLY STUCK TO THE BOTTOM OF OUR SHOES. We had to RIP them off our feet . . . go walking some more …. slip them BACK on … and walk again.
You can NOT imagine how painful it was to be ripping these bandages off!!! These photos come from some videos I made … before I realized that “HEY! I’VE BEEN ABUSED!” and should be making a report on this thing. I went to the local city cops that evening. They were cool, took my report, and lost the evidence I gave them (I think they just threw it away … you know – (them saying): “Nutcase. Throw it away. Anything he brought is of no value. After all: he’s a nutcase.” But they didn’t take me in because I was open, friendly, kind, courteous, cooperative, and did not at any time present a threat to anyone (including my own self) – a fact which is noted in their own records….
And these photos were taken about a week later (which include the first photo you saw on this post – taken by my wife.) I HAD TO SUGGEST THE IDEA, MIND YOU – NO ONE THOUGHT TO SEE THIS AS ABUSE, YOU KNOW – probably because I am a man …. and men don’t GET abused, do they. And if they DO – well, all righty then – they’d BETTER KEEP THEIR MOUTH SHUT – or else someone is going to put them in the NUTHOUSE – the way they did ME – for telling what was done …..
Anyway, enuff of the anger and raging (I and WE all get very upset at this thing – this WHOLE thing – which BTW includes how society has been treating me ever since I’ve gotten back here – like an F’ing VICTIM that is – BY ABUSING ME LIKE A VICTIM.
grrrrrrr…. very upset here. But oh! Wait . . . I’m not supposed to get upset or ‘agitated’ because I’ve been abused … that must mean I’m “mentally ill” (to get so upset about it) . . . but then again, if I DON’T get upset then I’m “avoiding the issues”, “dissociating”, and certainly must be insane because I’m not letting it upset me so …. but then if I get UPSET they tell me “calm down, you appear agitated” – so I must be insane …. you see how this works?? Once they’ve “got you” – there’s no “HUMAN” way out … you are not ALLOWED to be human or even express human emotions (about the events which upset you so) – but if you DO NOT express human emotions . . . then there’s something wrong with you as well …. go figure. There’s no winning in this losing proposition of a game. F’ing Society. F’ing morons. I won’t say what I think “they” deserve …. or else they’re gonna lock me up again ….
Anyway … on with the show….
From a week after I’d come back, healed, and recovered – and right before I went to my doctor, who had me thrown (involuntarily) into the loony bin ….
Even had blisters between my toes from my toes rubbing together for so long … and that ‘big’ blistery looking place had been one blister stacked and top by another . . . and another. Blisters on blisters and then some ….
This was cut into my heel by the heel of my Walmart loafers …. it hurt like a SOB!!!! (and imagine walking with it …. that heel constantly digging in …. while you have miles and miles to go …. nothing to eat for days …. no water …. ninety degree heat and down in the tropics …. fun, huh? (said sarcastically!) … and this was a week later! – and NO, the doctors didn’t do a THING for ANY OF MY INJURIES in ANY of the hospitals (mental, physical, and otherwise) that we went into … they were too busy incarcerating me for telling a story as one wrote “is hard to believe is true” … and because THEY would not believe me, they decided I was crazy instead … never MIND what happened or the evidence we presented! And those physical injuries?? Imagine wearing chains and ankle shackles on THIS (the injury above) – rubbing and scraping at it … after they took me in (marching down long hall ways …. chains and shackles dragging …. yeah – that’s how they treated me for this kind of thing – with even more abuse!!!)
And this damage – (varicose capillaries on my ankles) is, I think, unfortunately permanent (and VERY ugly) and will never go away … comes from walking so far, so long, and so hard for so many miles while starved, underweight, and dehydrated for so long …. just another thing the doctors and cops ignored …. along with all the physical evidence I presented ….
Instead of wanting to “hear” my story …. they just decided I was insane … and then in the hospital (mental) … the doctor told me:
“I’ve read about this kind of shit – MKULTRA and all – and to quite frank – it scares the shit outta me!!!! But I’m gonna be ‘holding’ you (keeping you here against your will and wishes – including those of your family) – because you are so darned interesting!!!”
Go figure. I knew I was kind of an ‘interesting’ man (LOL’ing going on inside; we are several, we are explaining) ….
But I certainly never expected to be locked up for this kind of thing.
(AND PS: WANNA DO ME A FAVOR? SPREAD THIS THING AROUND. I want to get the word out: IF YOU’RE AN ABUSED MALE – THIS CAN HAPPEN TO YOU. You can be locked up and detained – simply for having been abused.
I should know. After all. It happens all the time.
(Update: 8/26/2011 – 1610 hrs)
I’m sure there are some who are going to say: “Well, you abused your own self . . . by walking all that time until your feet got so blistered they bled.” But here’s deal:
The guy we were staying with (a family member born and bred in PR who we respectfully admire – and still love – while keeping him at a distance) – told us (over and over again – and sometimes in violent and threatening ways when we became insistive):
“If you leave this yard – you will DIE! They are going to KILL you . . . them and my friends,” (and here nodding with his head and gesturing with his hands, indicating the neighborhood around us – which included more than just a lot of his family right there!). Then, glaring at me and shaking his hand (and his fist and his head and whatnot, he’d go on, stamping towards me in his humorously threatening Puerto Rican kind of way – and YES, we were amused by him, knowing that we could take him down in a heartbeat …. our commando training and whatall ….) “You won’t make it past the river,” he’d said, gesturing with his fist. “You stay in the yard. YOU don’t go ANYWHERE.”
And from there he forbade me to sing, dance, pray anymore, cry to myself, cry to someone else, do anything resembling artwork; there was no TV; no internet communications to speak of (except on his own laptop computer, which he was very … stringent – about me using) …. forbidden to talk to myself, ask any questions; explain anything – even MENTION the letters “MK” used in conjunction with one another (much less mention the hereto hereafter dismayed sort of program which was once called “MKULTRA”); suspicious that the walls had ears (and even his own cell phone when it was turned off) …. we espied wires (communications and power) leading from one house to another (meaning his his to the folks across the street) …. while there were no other wires leading in (they do construction “cement roof” style ‘over there’) in PR, which means typically all the wires are fed down the same route (through a metal pipe; maybe two in these days of internet communication since you’d want to avoid phone interference) ….
Anyway … lots of strange ‘stuff’ was goin’ on…
So I ran for our lives.
Hence the running (walking mostly, though and actually) … getting away from him (even his family and friends have agreed with the statement: “He has a toxic personality” – including his wife and his own daughter….)
Leaving to escape with our own lives …. that’s what we did. And if you want to call it “abusing one’s own self” for doing it – well then, let it be so. We don’t care what you think.
But we know this ….
If it had been YOU . . . and YOU had been there . . .
you would have gotten away somehow ….
or you simply would have died.
’nuff said … and ‘go figure’ while chewing on that one….
Until later (and NO, I ain’t mad …. just explaining …. since some folks don’t seem to understand. Love ya very much anyway; and there ain’t no forgivin’ to be done: you were forgiven and you were blessed when you were born ….
and ’nuff said on that one, too.
G’day, and see ya’ll sometime soon!
Matt and Jeff and et all, His Crew.