PTSD: Exerpt From American Legion Article & Comments

The following is from the September 2011 Issue of “American Legion” (click HERE for full article by Ken Olsen plus video) on PTSD:

“One of the most important contributions of (veterans) was they refused to accept the diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia from VA or civilian doctors,” Jones said…

“Similar symptoms may have caused confusion”, Chapman says. “One of the potential diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia are hallucinations. A soldier’s description of flashbacks might have led a clinician to consider hallucinations, associated with schizophrenia. Similarly, when an individual is exhibiting strong hypervigilance, it might look like paranoia – particularly before PTSD was well-understood.”

Now – when I came back from Puerto Rico I had (and we had) concluded during the third day that we had PTSD from our Puerto Rican Adventure and had started taking ‘care’ by starting to take care of it: recognizing that things weren’t the threat they were; recognizing that I had undue ‘security concerns’ (not that I felt anyone was actually out to get me – just this one fellow, my family and member and friend from PR).  I knew by day one that I was being unduly and symptomatically “paranoid” – you would be too, if you’d have had what happen to me happen to you.

But it goes without saying that I’ve been sorely misunderstood – by the medical professionals who were supposed to help me, to the family that has been confused and hurt by the medical professionals potentially illegal and wrongful (and “knee-jerk in my opinion) reaction in which they locked me up for …. well, being abused! (Quite frankly, and my own opinion.)

My own family doctor – an Army man himself who served his tours doing the Army Doctor thing – and who has known me for twenty-five years long … asked me when I came in where all those injuries came from – and I told him, being the honest former Marine and trusting soul that I am.  I even had a netbook with those photos ON it just so he could see!  And I told him about these threats to my life and children (meaning the man who had led to me being in this sort of condition in the first place) – and why I had purchased some guns – one each firearm, pistol: handgun – automatic: 9mm rounds – one for my wife, one for my daughter, one to keep at home, and a .380 to carry and keep for my own self protection.  After all: this guy is a former Army Lt. Col. in Army Intelligence – he used to run some really wild kinds of missions down there in south A – some of them being run (if not all of them) by our kindly kind of folks over there in the CIA.  He’s the kind of man who can do it (meaning offing my life, and that of my wife and daughter).  So we were running ‘scared’ – he was due back ‘in-country’ in just a few days after all . . .

And then they go and lock me up.  I’ve seen the papers.  The diagnosis is mixed: one says “extreme paranoia”, another (and this appears to be the secretary’s handwriting) says “Psychotic Break” (that was on the Fax they sent to the cops to have us picked up).  But the fact is: we weren’t paranoid at all!  We were just taking precautions in case this kind of guy showed up!  (Plus my wife needed a gun; she works with money – and some of the folks she works with show up sometimes needing some money . . .)  And as for being psychotic – well, written right there in my medical record (apparently by the same secretary) “. . . story hard to believe.”  Lock the ol’ boy up …

So anyway: there you go.  A General Practitioner making a wrongful diagnosis (and not in his own handwriting, BTW!) – a secretary who thinks the man before her needs locked up (“he’s …. different! And he’s weird!  And he’s telling us this strange story!!!”) … and from there on no one listened to a word I said.

I had told them from the very beginning – right there at the doctor’s office:  “I know I’ve got a little PTSD going on (nervous laugh) – but I’m gonna get over it.  I’ll be just fine.”

Later on I was adding: “If you will only let me go.”  Which they didn’t.  And THAT, my friends, has led to some VERY serious issues going on within me and with myself and with “our” views on society at large – and a whole lot of other things – especially regarding our system of health care and the entire STATE of looking at health care things at all – plus some of us agree:

It’s not ‘us’ that are ‘mad’.  Society is … just look around you and you’ll see:

A system gone ‘insane’. (LOLaughter!)

Who has PTSD now?  Me . . . or the entire being of society???
(After all: who was paranoid enough to lock me up for being this thing I am – and being so very PTSD at the time?)

It’s wonders I don’t have nightmares about it!

LOL!

moving on ….. and you do, too.  Go on out there and have yourself a life.

And make it a good one, at that.  Let’s just hope it’s not as ‘damn interesting’ as mine has been!  LOL!!!

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About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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4 Responses to PTSD: Exerpt From American Legion Article & Comments

  1. Michael says:

    I think that you did well with the hospital and Dr. just so you know. They fucked up and I am not surprised. You were at risk of being so heavily medicated that you lost years. You stayed with it at the hospital and avoided that. No small feat.

    I also think you are doing well for just recently understanding that you were subject to MKULTRA. Just a thought on MKULTRA your father may have been one of the prisoners of war that came back from Korea having been “brainwashed” and he may have been the one that subjected you to MKULTA experiences outside the formal MKULTA program. Impossible for me to tell.

    Back to the case. The Dr is on solid ground stating that you were paranoid even thought you were not. If he is the one that is responsible for stating that you had a psychotic break than he is on solid ground even though you did not. If a non-medical employee “added” the psychotic break note than the Dr. is responsible for that employee.

    It is highly unlikely that the hospital does not have notations for justifying committing you involuntarily does not matter that they were wrong. Linking the notation of a psychotic break directly to your incarceration is a stretch.

    Pretty much if a person walks into any hospital stating they have just bought a bunch of weapons and mentions the CIA they are going to be confined. I do not ever mention the CIA in a hospital. I always get the question is anyone after you and it is always specific to the CIA. Makes sense that a lot of people end up in hospitals talking about the CIA. Over 1/4 mill were in the MKULTA program and then there are the cults that adopted it as a cover.

    When asked is the CIA after me I always reply. Not me anymore than you. That makes them think.

    You will like this one I think. I was in a hospital dealing with a Dr that if he was not so much of a dink he would be a dick. I told him the problem is that he thinks he is the smartest person in the room and I do not see any indication that is the case. He flipped out.

    I have been to Mclean’s hospital which is purported to be the best in the country for trauma. On the unit they know about MKULTA. It may just be as it is in Boston and MIT, Boston College and good old Harvard were heavily funded by MKULTA for a while. I still do not say CIA. I still do not use the term MKULTRA. One staff member said. “You are a Manchurian Candidate.” Not officially..This was after many visits where I had established myself as credible.

    It is not outside the realm of possibility that you Dr is your keeper now. He job is to get you into a hospital if you flip out from all the MKULTA stuff. More likely if he is connected to your father somehow.

    You are correct in much of this is all driven from fear on the part of society. That and they do not want face what they really are. What ever that is.

    It is OK to rant that if you were female that you would be taken care of. It is not reality. You and I are much better off than the one woman I know who was MKULTA. Women are up against it in different ways.Ways you and I do not understand.

    Not being a jerk here: you may remember that I commented that I thought you would be fine in PR as you would be on adrenaline and knew how to deal and the the issue would be when you go back. When you got back and were writing I commented that you were in serious trouble and then you ended up in the hospital. I am writing now that you processed a lot of stuff and are deservedly are on a little high that you did so. Sometime in the future I think you are going to start to process more stuff. You have decided to not attempt the hard work of finding a therapist that can deal with CPTSD this is obviously your call and I know the barriers that are in front of you. I am just telling you that I expect that you have more hard work to do.

    I am sorry that you went for help and got none. I acknowledge that you worked within the system and got out of it what was possible.

    Fact is there is no hospital for those from MKULTA. All that is available is self and in rare cases a therapist who is pretty much on their own and gets no support from the mental health profession.

    Like

    • jeffssong says:

      “It is not outside the realm of possibility that you Dr is your keeper now . . .” Could be I reckon. LOL, you’ll love this one: my Doc was in private practice; quit about 2 years ago and joined up with another doc to form a “Association” (makes sense businesswise nowadays) . . . and then just a few months ago my DAD (the one with the psych training and who tried and might have hypnotized my brother and “I”) has me take him there – and starts seeing the OTHER doc (not the one I’m seeing – the one I’m seeing wouldn’t take him)… So there. Plus all of them are OLD Army … so yeah; I can see where a conspiracy theory could be formed. But we aren’t paranoid; we realize this is probably just one coincidence after another … or (perhaps, as another part of me is warily saying) – it is. Could be just about anything there.

      You were, of course, absolutely right in your assessments / predictions regarding us – and in some ways not. I wouldn’t say we were “fine in PR” though we did manage to survive – we managed to muddle through. And yeah, you were right on the spot there: we should have kept our mouth shut about some of the things that went on – it might have avoided a ‘prison trip’ (though that was an interesting experience as well, and we gained some new insights and outlooks as a result of that involuntary incarceration). And yeah: we are ‘processing’ like a B!!! in some ways; however, with all the stuff going on and some things … well, continuing?? (I dunno) – and … hmm, well.

      Get this: we corrected our wife by educating her as to the difference in meaning between “paranoid” and “hyper-vigilance” – and showed her (through Wikipedia and various mental sites) that what we had “going on” was exactly what we had BEEN saying since Day 3 of us getting back in the continental United States: that we were “PTSD’ing out”, were aware of it and our symptoms, and were working quite rapidly on ‘getting that out’, meaning reducing the level of what the docs and all saw as “delusional paranoia”. We even took a simple test online which said “YES! You are in extreme PTSD and should seek the services of a mental health professional” – which proved indeed to our wife (And everyone) that we were “PTSD” and had not gone completely around the bend.

      And no, Michael – we have not ruled out the possibility of getting a therapist. We’ve actively been seeking one out; however, we haven’t found any likely candidates since, as you know, the therapist must first have an open mind about all this; we are NOT trying to be cured of our multiplicity, and such a therapist must be flexible enough to be somewhat led and trained in how to deal with us – carefully at first, and then perhaps with more transparency and ‘honesty’ (meaning not the elimination of facts). Plus said therapist must be affordable enough that we can benefit from a minimum of 4 sessions in a month (at the beginning), and then tapering off afterwards … a whole lot of things. As you well know. Said therapist must be able to “piss us off” enough some of the times – and then be gentle and leading in others. We are – as you are, and, I think, anyone DID/MPD is a tad more complex than your normal ‘singleton’ or ‘monomind’ – since we’ve gots too many outlooks and viewpoints and ad infinitum… LOL. But we’ll keep on looking – it’s just not a huge priority since there’s so much other stuff going on right now, both in life and the financial world ….

      Until later – and we will see what we see. Who knows. Maybe we’ll find somebody or someone along the line … but I kinda doubt it. We haven’t had much luck on that so far …
      Have fun, take care, and take a swim for me. I can’t. Too much going on….
      Later!

      Like

  2. Michael says:

    Crap lost my comment.

    You are wise to take your time to find a therapist. Few have ever dealt with mind control on a formal level or extreme trauma. Few are capable.

    I would stay away from you know what a therapist needs to do. If you knew than you would not need a therapist. Specifically you are looking for psychoanalysis and expressive therapy.

    Ellen Lacter has a list of therapists which is the only source I know. ellenlacter@earthlink.net E-,mail her with your area code and she will send you any therapists in your area.

    You do need luck and you have to make your own. On the very positive side you are well ahead of the curve with dealing with some of this. Big help to someone that ends up working with you.

    The mental health field does not train to deal with these experiences.

    When I said fine in PR I meant you would deal as that was known to you that the issue would be when you got back and started to deal with what you have yet learned to deal with other than to cope and avoid. I am not saying that is not valuable I am saying there is more.

    Like

  3. jeffssong says:

    I won’t say that we know what a therapist needs to do; but having been in therapy / psychoanalysis before, I know what tends to work and what just leads us down the ever infamous rabbit hole. “Parts” of me relentlessly resist psychotherapy; eg. Matthew, but even he has come around a bit – become a bit more open to the idea. We are looking at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=74723&sid=1314707475.9608_11463&county=Columbia&state=GA , who is supposedly skilled in Hypnotherapy – something we need to do but have been unable to do, since we wish to dig into some of our experiences in PR while they are still fresh, and some of the childhood ‘stuff’, especially regarding the military and some of the bases we were on. We are somewhat able to do self-hypnosis – have been since I was a kid (teenager, actually) – but it is difficult and not very good for digging – better for ‘suggestion’. LOL, the last time we did self-hypnosis we found some crap we didn’t want to see / look at / remember, which has understandably made us a bit gunshy.

    PR … what and experience, Michael. We actually ‘gave’ better than what we got; we got the guy to actually question HIMSELF – asking himself “Is there something wrong with ME??” (we overheard him through a window) – which in my books / our books strikes us as a big win in psychology terms (making the patient realize that they have a problem.) We worked with him a LOT – and hard – and he is a mentally deficient person anyway (we – AND the wife – think he is an unaware multiple – he exhibits all the signs). But don’t get us wrong: we love and highly respect him, and hated doing what we had to do to our teacher …. getting him to the area and range to where he could begin teaching US some things. (Like – and these are his words, BTW, when we kept referring to our ‘training’: “Animals are TRAINED. HUMANS are TAUGHT. And I am TEACHING you.” Good news to modern man, LOL’ing. That and another thing: don’t ask about ‘survival food’ – humans eat food out of the grocery store. We were liable to be eating anything (or at least trying it!) – and pissing him off by asking “Is THIS good to eat? Is THAT an edible plant/nut/bean?”) Interesting times to say the least, but valuable lessons were learned … least of which was about ourselves. We learned SO much about “us” – who we are and who does what and who is good at who, and who can do this and who can do that; possessed of a kid’s curiosity, we found our analytical mind working overtime … really valuable lessons in life’s coping skills for us if you consider the ‘boundaries’ between personalities were ill defined before (we didn’t know who did what).

    Yes, we will need some luck, but skill as well – and education. We are learning more about more – but then again, we are a compulsive ‘learner’; able to self-educate in a variety of functions. Fortunately, one of those functions is ‘social being’ (sociology) and psychology, so we’re a little bit ahead of most therapists on this curve (though I doubt we’d be able to help others with this stuff …. I wouldn’t know what to say to someone like me, LOL!!! Except that everyone has to get along). However, for traditional therapy needs … we do okay. And to tell the truth, I don’t know what a therapist could really offer. We are thinking of writing a little bloggy entry on ‘therapy’ – and Matthew’s take on it (“a little monkey dancing around …. and paying another little monkey to watch.”) Yeah, he takes a kind of hard view on human life …

    Anyway – we appreciate your input; your suggestions, your ideas. We are debating about contacting said therapist; however, it is expensive (our PR trip etc. has eaten into our funds …. only about 10 grand left to ‘play with’ – and we’ve still got taxes to do.) And muddling along, while slow, is a survivable method. As we are not in a deep depression or raging with anger, I reckon it’s all okay.

    Until later.
    Mike & Jeff & Krew

    Like

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