Here’s the dilemma and I HATE this. Today is my regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment. This is the doctor who’s office sent the FAX which had me and us involuntarily committed. He denies having sent the fax or having me committed – denies the handwriting in my records – and yet, today, we are going to SHOVE that bit of evidence (a copy of his own fax) in front of his eyes and ask: “WTF is THIS, Doc?”
I’ve been seeing this doctor for over 25 years. We have been good friends. But now . . .
Who’s to say he won’t have me committed AGAIN . . . just for pissing him off? Or to keep us from filing a lawsuit? I can’t go – and yet if I don’t – he might have me committed for failing to keep my appointment (he is a General Practitioner, NOT a mental health professional or counselor). He can have me committed on a whim. Or as a threat to “keep my business” – so we have to keep paying him – in order to avoid getting committed . . .
No matter what we do, he and “the system” has us over a barrel. If we do go and say anything – he can put a stop to us simply by sending a fax to the cops. If we don’t go – same thing. If we piss him off – ditto. If we present a threat (lawsuit) – ditto again.
It’s a ripoff, blackmail, unethical . . . and yet we are going.
We think (we this time being me, myselves, and I – PLUS our wife) that the doctor’s WIFE is the one who forged a fax – represented herself or impersonated herself as “my wife” in order to have a ‘family member’ saying I needed committed – and forged his signature (perhaps) – etc ad infinitum. Reasons for a lawsuit in my unprofessional opinion . . .
However, if he KNOWS or suspects we know this about him – what’s to keep him from having us committed again just to protect himself, his practice, his livelihood, and his wife?? Who’s to say he can’t? We don’t know . . .because we’ve learned . . .
any doctor can do this: have you restrained and put in a mental health facility simply because . . . they feel like it. Want to. Or just to shut you the F up.
The fact is: this doc and/or his wife betrayed me, my family, relationships, my own healing process – a whole lot of other things. He damaged so many things beyond repair . . . friendships, family . . . me . . . myselves . . . and others. (There are a few parts of me that want to hurt him for this – hurt him BAD – but we realize: the best way to hurt him is to take him down – knock him off the radar – ruin his business, and ‘raping’ his wife in court – taking them for everything they’ve got – getting his license pulled – ruining him. Simply ruining him . . . and even then we’re gonna be bitter and sad and angry about the whole F’ing thing . . .
After all, he’s ruined so much for me. Either him or his wife did.
My mom won’t talk to me – not really. My dad hasn’t called in about two weeks (not even for my birthday). My brother and I just fight fight fight (even when he called to wish me a happy birthday it dissolved into a big ol’ fight). My daughter says she can’t trust anyone- OR the system – anymore. My long time friends stay away. Even those who recognize that what was done was unfair, unjust, and uncalled for . . . are so troubled they don’t like seeing me (it reminds them of our situation), much less talking about it …
The worst part is my wife is crying again.
She says she doesn’t know why she suddenly gets so sad. She’s never had this problem before – a staunch, willful woman – strong, independant . . .
and now she cries. She’s had this ever since I got “incarcerated” by the mental health system . . .
Do you know that the mental health system can basically kidnap you or your spouse – and once “in” – you have NO rights at all??
My wife found that out the hard way when she tried to find out where I was, HOW I was, and what was happening to and with me. They simply refused to tell her.
“Privacy issues,” they said, denying her even the simplest information – and then basically telling her to get lost – that “no, you cannot speak to your husband”, and “no, we cannot tell you where he is” and “no, we will not tell you how he is doing” and then transporting me to another hospital without telling her – and then “losing” me (in her eyes) so that it seemed I had disappeared and no one knew where I was going (I was being transported in the back of a hot, unventilated, unairconditioned cop car with rap music BLARING in my ears across the South in July’s summertime heat – here in the SOUTH, and in Georgia . . . I arrived sick from the heat due to these officer’s incompetence and bullshit – so weak (from being malnourished, dehydrated, and starved) – and the heat – that they had to help me out of the car and into the building . . . where I was starved again for another sixteen hours . . . great way to treat a PATIENT, don’t you think?
Because when you are a mental health PATIENT you are NOT a patient at all.
You are a prisoner, and they keep you there and treat you BAD.
The food was . . . bad. The staff: overworked, angry, abusive all the way . . .
The doctors – what doctors?!! No one treated me for ANYTHING, not one bit. Not for the PTSD, nor the supposed ‘paranoia’ that I was suffering from . . .
and now I gotta go see the doctor again – the one who put me there. Not for mental health issues you understand – I NEVER went to him for mental health issues (seeing as we basically are done with those – have been ‘done’ for years) – but because if I don’t go (so he can get paid) – he can turn me in (or his wife will). And if I DO go – I’d better keep my mouth shut . . . so he won’t ‘turn me in’.
But to be honest, I don’t give a damn. I’m gonna shove that fax in front of his face and ask him:
“What the F&$!!??”
And I expect he’s gonna lie.
and then, perhaps . . . I’m gonna find myself involentarily committed to a mental hospital again . . .
all for pissing him off and presenting some kind of threat . . .
a legal one.