False Expectations

People always have false expectations – myself included.  “All” of us inside do – so do all of YOU, our intended audience.  Everyone expects everyone to think – and behave – and be like themselves . . .

Think about it.  I know I’m guilty of it -we all are, every day.  Expecting the other person to go along with us – ‘feel’ the way we feel, support our moral decisions, decide on what’s ‘best for us’ based upon what we’ve decided – hence all the arguments and ‘sales pitches’ we hear going on in real life.

I caught myself – and still catch myself (and us; Matthew’s included in this kind of ’emotional’ equation) – ‘thinking’ that what other people are thinking is what I’m thinking, which may not be what I’m thinking at all!  (Especially true in the cases of us multiples, since we are thinking so much – and on so many sides of an issue at one time – that we can see in ourselves this own kind of conflict sometimes.)  But in my family – meaning parents, siblings and such, “mental illness” contained such a stigma that you’d be better off saying you were a one-eyed alien from the planet Xzurus with a parasitic infection that makes you fart flame once and awhile than someone say you are “mentally ill” – or even having a mental problem at all!  People with mental problems are often looked down up, scorned, should be scolded, and controlled like a nightmare.  <- this is almost a ‘direct quote’ from my family’s personal philosophy – sorta.  There’s more to it – things like “people with mental illnesses must be weak minded”, “they are a weak sort of lot” – and that almost Nazi-like mentality of anyone who is ‘inferior’ in dramatic sorts of ways ‘need to be eliminated’ or rendered incapable of breeding or . . .

Gee, there’s a lot of that sort of ‘undercurrent’ sort of stuff in my background, come to think about it – it’s like the old “thinning out the gene pool” jokes – only in my mom’s opinion any sort of man generally met the criteria; while in my dad’s opinions it is gays, non-Christians, liberals, and anyone who (in general) doesn’t agree with his philosophies and opinions (such as “everyone who has AIDS deserves it for whatever sin they committed, and they all should be locked away like lepers” – his quote, not mine.) . . . my brother’s homophobic outlook, and a slowly sickening (to me) outlook on poor people (“they DESERVE it for being stupid!” in his opinion, as well as all you military folks are ‘stupid’ for going in the military and not trying to grub every dollar you can outta every pocket you can get it out of . . .) ….

Gee, where’ I come from???

But anyway: they all get upset at me for not having the same opinion, attitudes, or outlooks.  This is most apparent in my ‘regular’ lifestyle, in that I don’t …. do any of those things.  Everyone says I’m ‘weird’ and a little off center . . . and I mean everyone . . .

It gets kinda lonely sometimes (except inside, where we’re all good with things like that, and there’s never any loneliness “inside” – only … weird ‘life’ loneliness – meaning we have to ‘go it alone’ in our lifetimes ….)

But the thing is I’ve noticed:

We’re ALL like that!

We all want (or expect) everyone else to share our morals, our principles, our beliefs (at least somewhat) – our rules (for life, living, whatnot); our expectations (you should go out get a job, whatnot) . . . “get the training, get the education” . . . (not a bad idea, by the way, you young people) . . .

and Here’s the BIG ONE:

“I love him/her!  Why doesn’t she/he LOVE me (back)???!!!”  (sobbing, crying, fits, gunshots, whatnot . . . )
I always wince when I hear that one (or it’s equivalents) – for who SAYS just because you love someone they SHOULD or WILL love you back???  There isn’t a reason.  And its a Prime Example of What I’m Meaning Here:

FALSE EXPECTATIONS.

So don’t go around expecting (or expect TO) have people “feeling like you do”, thinking like you do, ACTING like you do – none of that!  Instead expect each person to have (and DO!) their own creative thinking and be their own creative way and have their own creative (And sometimes Unique!) thoughts, ideas, and feelings about things – and accept them/it as it is!!!  (as long as it does no harm – someone thinking “eh, I oughta go kill everyone in that mob” isn’t what I as a human being would call an “acceptable outlook” – unless that mob happens to be one that’s trying to kill me (and even then I might have to think about it.).)  But you get the idea . . .

You believe in Allah.  He believes in God.  I believe in little green tree frogs.  So what’s the difference?  Does it matter?  As long as we’re all trying to be good . . . get along with one another – save this environment and planet of ours – give each other room to be different, and tolerance instead of violence, why . . .

This world might actually become a good place to live!

But then again . . .
that’s probably just another false expectation of mine . . .
I don’t think people can be that good . . .
Generally speaking
(and the cycle of expectations begins . . .)

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About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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