“Slap the inner child”, “tell him to shut up”. Lets add ‘try to kill him’, ‘bury him’. I could also add some other things I’ve done.
Truth is: you would *never* do this to a human child who showed up on your doorstep, abused. I doubt you would tell him to shut up when he related the abuse. I think you would rather hold him . . . a ‘real’ human child.
Maybe it’s time to see him like that. A real human child who really needs your help and understanding. And maybe, like ‘me’, as you come to understand why ‘he did what he did’ you will know: he was only seeking happiness in the only way he could. It was not ‘him’ which caused his parents to abuse him, it was not the things he did. It was them – lost souls and minds – taking their grief and pain out on him. That is not excusing them. It’s just what *they* did, seeking simple human happiness, albeit from another’s pain. Yes, it is wrong what they did, but not how he responded.
Try loving that child. Starting can be rough. I had to understand him first – his search for love. From there things came easy. It can be hard to love him enough. ‘I’ and ‘we’ have decided: he’s been abused long enough. ‘We’ are no longer going to help our abusers. We aren’t accomplices. Our child has suffered enough.
Love him. Try your best. It will be hard starting out; he may not trust you enough. But as time goes along it gets easier, at least it did for us. Accepting ‘him’ as a young soul who was badly abused – and being loving instead of tough.
(we wrote this comment on JD Stockholm’s blog, author of “Dear Teddy“, in response to a post he wrote. Prompted to revisiting the comment by another user (because we didn’t know what we’d wrote), we re-read it (some of Jeffery’s writing, and M3 as well) – and grudgingly agreed: it was good. Hope it can help someone. Maybe even you.)
Love your inner child and you just might find . . . he loves YOU, too.