Learning to Love The Inner Child

“Slap the inner child”, “tell him to shut up”. Lets add ‘try to kill him’, ‘bury him’. I could also add some other things I’ve done.

Truth is: you would *never* do this to a human child who showed up on your doorstep, abused. I doubt you would tell him to shut up when he related the abuse. I think you would rather hold him . . . a ‘real’ human child.

Maybe it’s time to see him like that. A real human child who really needs your help and understanding. And maybe, like ‘me’, as you come to understand why ‘he did what he did’ you will know: he was only seeking happiness in the only way he could. It was not ‘him’ which caused his parents to abuse him, it was not the things he did. It was them – lost souls and minds – taking their grief and pain out on him. That is not excusing them. It’s just what *they* did, seeking simple human happiness, albeit from another’s pain. Yes, it is wrong what they did, but not how he responded.

Try loving that child. Starting can be rough. I had to understand him first – his search for love. From there things came easy. It can be hard to love him enough. ‘I’ and ‘we’ have decided: he’s been abused long enough. ‘We’ are no longer going to help our abusers. We aren’t accomplices. Our child has suffered enough.

Love him. Try your best. It will be hard starting out; he may not trust you enough. But as time goes along it gets easier, at least it did for us. Accepting ‘him’ as a young soul who was badly abused – and being loving instead of tough.

(we wrote this comment on JD Stockholm’s blog, author of “Dear Teddy“, in response to a post he wrote.  Prompted to revisiting the comment by another user (because we didn’t know what we’d wrote), we re-read it (some of Jeffery’s writing, and M3 as well) – and grudgingly agreed: it was good.  Hope it can help someone.  Maybe even you.)

Love your inner child and you just might find . . . he loves YOU, too.

About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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8 Responses to Learning to Love The Inner Child

  1. Hobbles says:

    Love is a powerful thing. Especially when it comes to parts of yourself that really need it.


  2. firebird83 says:

    My inner child has been speaking more and more and has become more independent than what I was when I was that age.
    Thank you for your post.
    With much respect,


    • jeffssong says:

      Last year I suppose it was we started to learn: pay attention to those inner voices.
      Especially the soft sort of ones; the tugging at your ear, the ‘hand’ that touches your shoulder – but disappears when you turn around.
      It’s been a hard run, tongue hanging out, tired . . . but so satisfying (I think; we’ll see: we haven’t reached the end of it yet.)
      Until later, firebird.
      Keep on hummin’. 😀


  3. aynetal3 says:

    Thinking this is looking like a pretty good day to be alive! Love trumps all other!

    Our best,


    • jeffssong says:

      Thanks Anns. Been a long road . . . what next? LOL’ing. The system always has some surprises hidden up it’s sleeves – and they are long ones, hidden in the dark to us. (wry smile). Enjoying the coasting while ‘I’ can. 😀


  4. Michael says:

    For me it is accepting the inner children love me., Easier not as there are less I’s and less me’s


    • jeffssong says:

      That is an odd issue which we have been learning and coming to grips with: that our inner children have always loved ‘us’ – despite our misbehavior towards them. They are ‘good’; much better than ‘me’ (the adult & teen) – at loving.

      I guess that comes from the lessons we learned. And “we” are their creations, you see – created from the children’s minds. Which means they are the fathers and ‘we’ are the sons – which explains a lot of things (emotionally speaking) of how ‘they’ feel towards ‘me’.


  5. i practiced what was suggested to me and i draw on this “little exercise” frequently. i like how it has worked in my growth connections. get a hand held mirror that can be held up face level. sit comfortably in a chair or couch then let both eyelids shut. think about someone in life that i love and care for, can be anybody from past friends or someone new or sister brother anyone. bring their image up inside your minds eye and feel the love you have for them protecting them and nurturing them or cuddling them. see the person responding to your feeling of love and you giving love back for about a minute, (i had to work up from 20-30 seconds) keep feeling and sending that emotion out to them. keep eyes shut so you can feel the positive emotion releasing out toward the loved one. THEN hold up the mirror comfortably face level and keep the love you feel going out toward them. now open your eyes and look in the mirror as you sustain that love out to the one you see in the mirror.


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