Beware Falling Space Monkeys and New Gun Owners

Given the historical ballistics accuracy of Iran’s former SCUD missiles systems, I expect that we can expect an attack by falling monkeys someday, soon.

I can already see it: screaming monkeys, some in flames, falling in backyards mad as hell, running everywhere.  Knowing those crazy Iranians, I expect they’ll be be wearing little explosive belts.  If they survive the collision.  With earth, that is . . .

Another method of attack.  Assault monkeys from space . . .

I wonder if monkeys should be outlawed.  There oughta be a law declaring them a nuisance and a hazard, anyway.  Hell, if you trained one right, it could be an assault weapon!  Ever see “Planet of the Apes”?  That’s one, for sure – assault monkeys all around and not a single human to feed them . . .

I’d be mad as hell, too, if they strapped me in a rocket and shot me in space – with nothing to but a little set of “die-pees” (diapers to those among you who have never had kids) – and an explosive belt strapped around my middle, not to mention my ass, since that’s what a rocket’s supposed to do: blast your ass on out into space.

So is it your fault if you land on someone?

Speaking of things: how many of you have read – actually sat down and READ – Obama’s executive orders to gun control law?  Most of them just say we oughta be better at what we’re supposed to be doing.  A couple of them are healthcare related.  (shrugging)  I couldn’t find much to them – not beyond what we’re doing – despite being a gun fan.  I love to shoot them but rarely do.  Ammunition costs money, and you’ve got to take care of them.  And I do so hate to clean them – such a pain in the butt.  I guess I did too much of that crap during my Marine Corps ‘career’ – and know: if you shoot just one lousy bullet you’ve got to clean it.  And you’d better do it in a few hours, not a day or too.  Burnt gunpowder is corrosive – nitric and sulfuric acids form, and despite improvements to gunpowder ‘blends’ it retains its corrosive nature.  Which is why my preferred weapons are stainless steel; however, they have to be cleaned after firing as well, as many of the parts within them are just “steel” or spring steel.

Speaking of which:

Are Americans Going Gun Crazy?

Certainly there have been issues raised over past month or two and I’ve been amazed at the attitudes.  Instead of controlling guns, Americans are going crazy about them.  Ammunition is nearly impossible to find, and the costs when you do find it!  My!  A box of ammunition has certainly gone up.  I saw a fist full of 9 mm (copper head, or full metal jacket, in other words) – going for twenty-two bucks at a flea market, and ammunition from the 1950’s selling for $30 a box with just about a dozen bullets to go in it.

This was at a gun show I saw advertised on TV – said “what the hell” and me and the wife went to scope things out.  There was a line 30 minutes long (and then some later) just to get in.  And inside!  It was a madhouse; the place was packed and then some.  I saw SKS’s going for $750 and more.  My wife paid $150 for one a few years ago – bought it from a friend of mine who need the cash, and he made $50 over his purchase price.   I know because I had bought mine at the same time (this being some 20+ years ago.)  Just for fun, mind you – it reminded me a cheap M-16 I had “owned” during my Marine Corps career – and was a hell of a lot cheaper to buy and fire.  Turns out it was a damn good investment, huh? I’m glad I’ve kept the son-of-a-bitch.  I say that because at times it tends to go full automatic when it is supposed to just fire semi-auto, which doesn’t bother me, but might someone else.  That’s because of it’s made of old, cheap Chinese metal.

But it’s accurate as hell up to a few hundred yards, and the other (the $150 one) my wife gave to my stepson for Christmas last year.  Poor kid – he likes hearing something go “bang-bang-bang!” (fascinated by flashlights, too, LOL) – and loves shooting the SOB – so much so he got himself a 100-round clip . . .

no, he’s harmless – harmless as hell, and pretty intelligent.  A wonderful father, much better than I am (or ever was).  He just likes shooting guns – shooting them into a clay bank – against targets as vast and varied as an old steel drum or plastic bottles.  So when he found out that an SKS was inexpensive to shoot . . . he went through ammo like a chipmunk through sesame seeds . . .

The thing is: at this gun show I saw people buying all kinds of guns.  Some of them were inexperienced – young shooters, or not shooters at all.  People buying guns simply because they “had to have them”, “get them now while you can” – and ditto all the ammunition sales.

And yet there’s nothing going on about ammunition.  Not in the gun laws.  Hell, I saw a box of .30-30 ammunition – about fifty rounds – going for $125.

Deer hunting’s going to be mighty expensive this year if they keep it at that rate.  I hope you deer hunters are good shots.  You’re going to want to conserve them – those bullets.

But the thing is: I expect this ‘fad’ – this surge on gun sales, and ammunition sales as well, is going to fade in a few months.  Ammunition will start appearing on shelves again, though not at an astronomical rate; prices will go down again, and people are going to realize gun is a gun no matter how your shoot it or decorate it (think ‘fancy plastic grips’).  The focus is (I hope) going to be on the people who keep them – and the clip size, I suppose.  But what are you going to do about the 30+ million “oversized” (and legal) clips out there – none which are registered?  None have to be “signed for”.  There is no signature / purchaser trace on ‘clips’ and such.  It simply has never been done.

Hard to put the horse back with the cart when he’s run away with both of them.

The scary thing, though , is people need to realize now we’ve got a lotta people going around armed, and a lot of them are inexperienced.  Some of them, like a couple of ladies I talked with at the show, have very little familiarity with guns.   To those I said: (and here’s some ‘professional’ advice for you new gun owners out there:  LEARN your gun.  Shoot each one you have at least a hundred times. It should be as comfortable to carry as the hand on your arm – and you should be able to shoot it as well and as accurately as you can point your finger.

If you haven’t shot at least a hundred rounds out of it, you haven’t shot enough.

Learn when it is legal to use (and carry) one.  Know the “rules of engagement” and for “Deadly Force”.

And bear in mind this (FBI stats):  For the “average” gunfight, the average shots fired?  Three shots.  Distance between participants? Three feet.  Average time first to last shot? Three seconds.

and remember:  “There is no such thing as ‘accidental shooting’.  There is only failure to follow safety protocol.”  (Marine Corps Range Control Officers)

Remember that.

*America.  The best armed nation on earth.  Attack it if you dare.
(~ Author: Ike?  Dunno.  Some Cold War guy.)

’nuff for now.


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle ( ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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