When There’s No Reason

People like to attach reasons for things – the death of a loved one, a horrible tragedy – why some balloons float and others don’t.  (That last is called “science”, by the way.)  We strive for reason, imagine reasons, create them where there could not possibly be one . . . but there is, the moment we make one.

In fact, we seem to be desperate for a ‘reason’ for everything, anything, and even nothing at all.

“Why was I made?  Why does this universe exist?”  Some questions (and resulting arguments) have been going on ever since the first caveman looked up at the stars and wondered: How did all of this get here?

It took a long time to learn the reason for things is sometimes ‘nothing’ – life happens, chance happens, and sometimes it’s bad.  But then we realized that no matter what, we must find a perspective – a reason – which adds value to the bad in life.  For with a ‘reason’ (or the acceptance of a lack of reason) comes personal happiness, and understanding.  And when it comes to life, happiness what it’s all about.

When it comes down to it, I guarantee the overwhelming and underlying reason for humans behaving the way they do is the desire for personal happiness (survival being a part of that).

We found that by using these “bloody coins” that were so dearly bought, the best reason we can give for the bad things happening is “to learn something”.  Whether that is how to let someone go, face death (including your own); facing the horrors of your own child abuse or someone else’s, facing a gunman just inches from your nose – you name it.

The ‘reasons’ are there if you make them – or not! – depending how hard you look for them.

We look for value in our ‘lessons’ (or reasons): it made us tougher, it made us empathic with child abuse survivors and ‘victims’ of DID (for I am a ‘victim’ no longer – “I’ve” just emerged from myself and see all of my ‘parts and pieces’ as things – or people – of value).  It enabled us to be strong in situations where others would be weak.  It helped us move on when there was no reason to move on, to keep on trucking and looking . . .  looking for the lesson in life that would lead us on to some future happiness, should this ‘thing’ happen again.

It’s awful somehow, someway, the way this world has gone – but we can deal with it, for it has given us many reasons and lessons to live.  It makes us realize the futility in, and of life – and that for that reason, we should live more, and strive for more happiness while I (or we) were here.

How do you deal with something like the mass shootings and wars, the ‘unreasonable’ treachery and horrors?  With a children massacre, or terrible storm that destroys everything in your life of value?

You try to find value in them.

And that’s when I’ll start looking at that ol’ Coin Fate brought, dropped in my hand – start trying to wipe some of the blood off and find ‘the value’ – for me – if no one else.

How to deal with loss (I should be well practiced with that – but I’m not.)  How to deal with the losses of others.  How to deal “within myselves”.  How to ‘come together’ and be happy ‘as a family’. (Another value there!)

It’s hard, this life of ours.  As yours is, too.  I have no doubt everyone in the “Human Condition” has had their share of troubles, doubts, trials, and tribulations – at times they’ve had to sit back (stand back, step back, or something) and ask themselves:


Why did I do this, that, the other and not some other thing.  Why did that happen to me?  Who did this to ‘me’ – they or them or myself?  Who knows?  What of value is there in knowing?  Will it help me be a better (albeit for me that means ‘happier’) person?  Will it help “me” (and all the little me’s inside) get along better?

How do I explain it?

I see things going on – and rationalizing it as human behavior, a search for happiness – still it seems wrong, sometimes, how these human beings go about it.  Like something is wrong; some weird disconnect between their stomachs and their heads and their hearts – searching out and reaching towards one another (and so blindly sometimes) . . .and yet at the same time pushing each other away.

Strange sometimes, and I cannot help but ponder the reason(s) behind it.

“Why?” I continue to ask myself/selves.  “Why can’t they see what they are seeking?  How can they find value in their lives?  Is it ‘he with the most possessions wins’?  Or the one who dies happiest?

What is the reason for that?

What is the reason for loss.

What is the reason for anything?

For you must find a reason lest all reason be lost.


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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