Beyond Forgiveness

“I forgive . . .”.

No matter how many times you say those kinds of words, it takes some time for them to settle in – settle in your soul and heart to where you don’t think about them anymore.

“I forgive,” can be a first step out of some madness, and certainly from a lot of rage.  But it’s hard to do when somebody’s done something to you, something that’s bad or evil.  Forgiving one’s self seems to be the hardest gift of all: forgiving one’s self (or selves) for having done something evil, or spiteful, or mad.

Telling yourself you’re human helps a bit with it; telling everyone else is rather hard.

But there’s a step I’ve become aware of here lately, of moving beyond forgiveness into something else.

That’s why I’m sitting here writing about it. This is one of the ways I can find out.

Forgiveness begins and ends with you. I know that . The ability to forgive one’s self – for simply being human, if nothing else, and forgiving others can be hard.

But to say: “I forgive” still implies you have something to forgive ‘them’ (or he/she/it/they) about.  That you still feel something . . . bad . . . so to say “I forgive” implies you still have some emotion behind the event; that you are still feeling something about it.

That’s not always a positive thing – but it can be. It lets you know you’re still human . . .

and moving on to forgiveness gets rid of a lot of rage – self-rage and anger; rage at them, the world . . .

But I’ve come to see that by forgiving, I still have to deal with some stuff.  It’s getting easier (and harder sometimes) to do. I still have my ups and downs. I still have my split personalities.  ‘We’ still come out from time to time.  We’ve managed to spread forgiveness all around.

It helps with the anger sometimes . . .

 

But . . .

I think (like seeing the light over the horizon of a rising sun) there’s a stage or ‘something’ that comes after forgiveness.

Perhaps acceptance will do.

Acceptance that they are simply human.

As you and we are, too.

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About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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