Beyond Forgiveness

“I forgive . . .”.

No matter how many times you say those kinds of words, it takes some time for them to settle in – settle in your soul and heart to where you don’t think about them anymore.

“I forgive,” can be a first step out of some madness, and certainly from a lot of rage.  But it’s hard to do when somebody’s done something to you, something that’s bad or evil.  Forgiving one’s self seems to be the hardest gift of all: forgiving one’s self (or selves) for having done something evil, or spiteful, or mad.

Telling yourself you’re human helps a bit with it; telling everyone else is rather hard.

But there’s a step I’ve become aware of here lately, of moving beyond forgiveness into something else.

That’s why I’m sitting here writing about it. This is one of the ways I can find out.

Forgiveness begins and ends with you. I know that . The ability to forgive one’s self – for simply being human, if nothing else, and forgiving others can be hard.

But to say: “I forgive” still implies you have something to forgive ‘them’ (or he/she/it/they) about.  That you still feel something . . . bad . . . so to say “I forgive” implies you still have some emotion behind the event; that you are still feeling something about it.

That’s not always a positive thing – but it can be. It lets you know you’re still human . . .

and moving on to forgiveness gets rid of a lot of rage – self-rage and anger; rage at them, the world . . .

But I’ve come to see that by forgiving, I still have to deal with some stuff.  It’s getting easier (and harder sometimes) to do. I still have my ups and downs. I still have my split personalities.  ‘We’ still come out from time to time.  We’ve managed to spread forgiveness all around.

It helps with the anger sometimes . . .


But . . .

I think (like seeing the light over the horizon of a rising sun) there’s a stage or ‘something’ that comes after forgiveness.

Perhaps acceptance will do.

Acceptance that they are simply human.

As you and we are, too.


About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle ( ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
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