We’re Back ;)

We’re back, not that we ever left, not really.  We had better things to do after getting kicked off Facebook for invalid reasons, plus we were getting tired of this show.  In short: we had better things to do with our life than do “this” – come online, try to help people; other interests came up.

We’re like that.  “I”, or we, will drop from sight faster than the proverbial hat, and have done it before, leaving people sitting wondering “where’d he go?”.  Our biggest ‘audience’ was over 30K on one site, working against eBay waaayyy back when they changed their Seller’s policies to over-favor the buyer by not allowing sellers to identify scammers and thieves – at best all you could say was “A deal was done” – and eBay’s cut jumped from 50/50 to 30/70 in eBay’s favor.  We knew going in we it was a loser’s battle, and it was, thought we pissed off eBay royally by selling – ON THEIR OWN SITE – a “Guide to Non-eBay Auctions” – and it was selling well, continuously updated with new links and fee information weekly.  That, too, fell apart when I threw in the towel and left everyone standing.  One of my proudest “mentions” was DIGG running a headline on it.  It was funny and was, to me (and us) an exercise in social dynamics using social media, etc., blah blah blah how to influence people, how easy it has become, how far our reach could go, who we could touch and recruit, manipulation of emotions, etc.  A social experiment, in other words, and our point of view.  A lab tech poking at some humans.  LOL.

A real work of Art in other words, and we left it stone cold, just sitting there.  I watched from ‘afar’ as they drifted apart, the movement stagnated, gathered dust and became something else.  I was done.

But THIS effort, and this blog – same thing.  I “abandoned” all you folks to your own devices, sink or swim, and never looked back, not much. We had (and still have) better things to do in our life.  Some people are beyond help, especially those who wallow in their problems for the sake of sympathy in a cycle of self-reward: the more miserable they become the more sympathy offered, until it snowballs them to hell, or worse, into taking their own life – the “final” statement in a last ditch effort to find some relief . . . or more sympathy and drugs.  Then there are those who refuse to acknowledge the solutions and take them, those steps towards healing.  Then there is that vast crowd who do, but are confused or deceived into believing by their counselors, our culture and society, that those counselors can somehow press some magical button in their head and heal them; that there is some miracle medicine you can take and the world will suddenly become all roses with everyone loving you and everyone else; that unicorns will start arcing through the sky farting flower smelling rainbows while fairies sprinkle pixie dust in your hair.  Yeah, some drugs CAN give you that effect, albeit temporary – I know, I’ve taken them. 😉  And for some people meds can fix chemical imbalances or other biologically based problems, or perhaps stabilize them long enough to get some work done.  But those kinds of folks are actually quite rare – I’ll get some argument, I’m sure.  After all, it’s a common delusion – I used to believe it, too, until I got better and noticed all they did for me was make me sicker – that, and the counselors too, for the most part..  All too willing are psychiatrists, licensed therapists, and other drug dealers to hand over scoops of pills with a vague promise of “change”.  It makes them money, keeps you coming back, feeds a LOT of fat wallets – except yours, of course.  It makes you poorer and more depressed if you are already poor and can not afford it, and have to try and live on Ramen if you do.  I’m not knocking the entire business; just most of it.  Physicians deceive the public “there’s this pill”, some kind of “mood stabilizer” (or paralyzer would be more like it) because they have deceived themselves.  EVERYone thinks “it’s good” when the fact is once you are ‘hooked’, it is likely you’ll never come off of “those” to help your mood, help you get along.  And lets not forget those “at least once-a-month” visits to get it confirmed: yes, you still are sick, you’re still gonna need some medication, and hey! – if those aren’t working, we got something else . . .

Yes.  Look at yourself.  Look hard.  How long has it been?  How many dollars?  Where have those dollars gone?  What real, and true actual good has it done for YOU?  ARE you done?  Or is this going to become your “life time friend” and life time life style, going to this therapist, these visits.  If he or she IS a friend – why are they charging you?  You gotta ask sometime, especially if it seems awhile since you’ve made any progress, or they just keep on feeding you a rotating menu of pills, and advice that just keeps you churning . . . “Here’s a questionaire, I want you to fill it out & give it back next visit . . .”, “I want you to bring me this, or that, or something . . .”.  It never seems to stop and keeps going on – and some people like it.  Some, I think, will never get better.  It’s more fun to stay ‘sick’ all the time, and face it: a lot easier sometimes as it provides you with excuses for any outrageous behavior, behavior pattern, quirk, spew of profanity, or whatever you want to do – even if it costs someone else their life, it can be an excuse for you, the person who killed them by claiming a history of insanity . . .

Yeah, people can be crazy like that, too.

Yeah, the fact is everyone wants someone to take a deep and personal interest in their life – every fart, every shit, every thought or idea.  And to ask “why?” a lot.  It doesn’t really help you – it just gives you something to talk about while you are taking up their time – and paying for it.  Just how many counselors really know what they are talking about?  How many just sit there staring at you silently – watching the dollar bills – er, I mean “clock” ticking by?  Or ask just one or two questions and leave it to you to fill the room . . . meanwhile that clock is ticking on, eating into your money.

Who is benefiting whom?

Now I’m not “knocking” the counseling stuff.  Heck, I’m looking at putting my foot back in now that I’ve gotten a little piece of paper to do it which says I can.  Or we can talk physics, which I’ve been studying intensely the past few years – dipping my toe in, so to speak.  I’ve gotten good enough & have enough knowledge that now I can converse intelligently with some scientists & “real birds” – men of science – and advance some theories of my own which seem to be standing up rather well, and solve some of the “problems” we have with understanding how our universe works.  Not under “this name” of course, and while they know there’s a strange bird in the room who keeps laughing . . .

and that’s me, because I’m mostly happy all the time, & contented.  Or rather, “we” are, because all the parts of me, in me, that kinda make “me”, the “I” being.  Tthere STILL is no ‘host’ or ‘main personality’ – no “I.  That seems to have gotten smeared across the floor, and like stale peanut butter, is really hard to put back into a peanut again, LOL!  We still find ourselves using “we” inappropriately in conversation and to refer to “ourselves”.  It’s still a big mix in here with the Crowd, but while crowded and jostling elbows for thought room we have become a “very busy, busy man” – writing physics theories, etc, and helping our common man – that kinda stuff.  According to one website – and only ON that website – I’ve benefited well over 100K.  So it’s not like I haven’t been doing nothing with “my” (and our) lives; everyone gets out to play some, though there are some that don’t because they are too injured.  That’s okay because ‘we’ have a place for them in our system that works; no one is a ‘drag’.  And yes, there are some tatters of issues here and there, but we’ve gotten pretty good at getting them tucked in.  Such is the life of an MPD being.  (DID just doesn’t quite cut it.  It’s just a broad – and REALLY broad – designation that shrinks use to label you so they can talk about you behind your back.)

That’s the things about using “labels” when it comes to human beings.  Perhaps some remember an entry I once wrote about something called “The Ten Percenters” or “10 Percent Rule”.  That rule still applies.  EVERYONE is unique with something to offer – or not.  Some can’t because of the way they see things and thus, feel.   Others simply do not have the ability to empathize with anyone but themselves.  And some have trouble doing that, especially within MPD systems.  Always some problem there, it seems, for some folks.

So why am I here?

I don’t know, call it the result of a goal to achieve the “contentedness” and happiness I observed among certain old people when I was 15 or so – when I decided to try altering my mind to BECOME like them.  “After all,” I (or we, for only some of us went along) – reasoned, “If I can achieve the maturity of an 84 year old when I’m 24, how much further along the road I’ll be towards mental maturity when I reach that age.  120?  140?”  The very ability to achieve the wisdom – the PEACE – these men felt when others were so obviously and loudly miserable?  What made that ONE old man sitting in the corner, in his wheelchair with a pee bag dangling over the side so dang CHEERFUL?  What was his secret to life.  Because I wanted to be there if I got to his age, though to this day I still kind of doubt it.  But then again how frequently I hear seniors exclaim “I never thought I’d live THIS long!” – and yet they do, there they go, still kicking, some having a great time.  That’s a goal, but not necessarily mine.  I don’t “cling” to life like some do.  I know who “I” (and we) am, are, and do, where we’ve been (or sort of – some things are destined to remain blanks in “our” life), and hopefully where I’m going to go (if my own deep seated and personal beleifs are right; IF we were shown the right things both long ago, and quite recently, in life-term speaking).

So why are we here?  I guess you can call it “the pursuit of life”, “helping someone” and passing on my knowledge, what little bit I have, about hopefully YOU living a happier life, and no doubt addressing some of my own issues, too.  I’ve been thinking about starting a blog called “In the Pursuit of Happiness” since that was the decision 21 (an alter in control at the time) made and we are all in full agreement that is a worthy goal, not just for us, but anyone.  On the other hand I feel I owe my “audience” here to help some out.   Not all my advice is available “for free”, and some comes at a cost – the cost of your perhaps realizing some truths about yourself, or the truth behind your feelings; your illusions and delusions that do harm, and hopefully try to lead a few to a happier life and a happier way.  That’s not to say this all is for everyone.  Chose what you like and applies to your situation, because like I said “everyone is unique” and no two people are going to pursue happiness on like paths, though some core routines need maintaining, as well as points of view; a new way of realizing, sometimes – BUT ONLY IF IT WORKS FOR YOU.  That’s going to be my endless caveat, so don’t come complaining when something DOESN’T work – it wasn’t meant for you.  You just picked up the wrong tool and went running with it.  But that’s okay, too.  Better than not running at all, which I see a lot of people do.

In case you are “new” to this blog, just a few facts – I tend to know a lot about a lot of things, but my gig in mental health is mostly centered around child abuse, depression, DID, MPD, BPD, bad feelings about one’s self, lack of forgiveness, etc.  I am NOT a licensed counselor – just a “what if” aid, or a “this might work” kind of thing – kinda like a guy you’d meet at a bar or on the street.  And I don’t want you to take anything I say more serious than that: just the advice of a good friend concerned about you, and wanting you to realize your own dream of happiness, too, in the right way: a way that won’t harm others or yourself, and that will last to the end of your days.

And remember:

It’s something I am working on, too.

sunny

With that I, we, and et all wish you adieu – for a day or a week or a month – who knows?  But if you made it this far –

Thank you. 😀

 

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About jeffssong

JW is an adult childhood abuse survivor with DID*. He grew up in a violent family devoid of love and affection. He is a military brat and veteran. He no longer struggles with that past. In 1976 JW began writing "The Boy". It took 34 years to complete. It is currently on Kindle (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004T3IVKK ), or if you prefer hard copy, on Amazon ( http://www.amazon.com/Boy-J-W/dp/1461022681). JW resides somewhere in the deep South. He is disabled and living with family. Note: Please feel free to take what you need; all is free to all. With that in mind, keep it that way to others. Thank you. We have 3 Blogs - One for our younger days, 0-10 (The Little Shop of Horrors); one for our Teen Alter and his 'friends' (also alters) with a lot of poetry; and finally "my" own, the Song of Life (current events and things)
This entry was posted in child abuse survivor, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Happiness, JefferyW, Life, mental health. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to We’re Back ;)

  1. smokymtnfan says:

    Great post! Happy to “see you” again.

    Like

  2. Sam Ruck says:

    welcome back, Jeff et al…I haven’t been around much either, but I try to keep an eye on things a little…

    Like

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